The Hardest Thing

I have said this before, but this time I really mean it....this is a really long post. 45 pictures to be exact. Be warned. So Jim and I were Ma and Pa for our Stake's Pioneer Trek. We had a couple months to prepare. But what we didn't know is how to really prepare.

When I got home and scrolled through these pictures I didn't even remember taking them. We were so different by the end.

Our family consisted of Jim and me and our 11 children. We knew 4 of them pretty well before we started and by the end we were a family. We faced our trials and overcame them as a team.

We sang a lot along the way. We talked and laughed.Our first day we went 7 miles. Not too shabby. We walked and pushed. We weren't on any roads the first day. We were going up and down some pretty steep hills.

Our first family photo. From left to right we have Jim, Amber, Kate, Eden, Cori, Maggie, Talia, Me, Collin, Jacob, Tannen, Brock and William.

We were divided into companies with 3 families in them. We were the orange company. We had the Snyder's and the Walker's in our company. We stayed together and organized pretty much the whole way. Luckily for me Marjorie Snyder loves to camp and is one of my best friends. Made my life easier!!

We turned our wagons around to go down steeper hills. As a team or like a family we had to work together to keep our cart from tipping over or getting stuck.

Day 1 and still smiling. Of course that was before the rain started.

Holes to go around and hills to not fall down. Our kids were great pullers and seemed to share Jim's sense of urgency to get where we were going. They weren't always the most patient when we had to wait for slower moving companies.

When we would get to the bottom the girls in our family would pull the cart while the boys would go back and help the family behind us.

And we would go slower so they could easily catch up.

We took a lot of water breaks. It was really warm the first part of the day. We were wet from the inside out.

This is Brock. I am so proud of him. He is the son of my friend Katrina. When we first started he would stand apart from our group. But by the middle of the first of the first day he was warming up to us. I am so glad he was in our family. He also turned out to be one of our best pullers. And by the end he was in thick with us!!

This was the second Trek for Jacob. We named him one of our older brothers. He kept the kids rotated on the cart so everyone got a turn and no one was over-worked.

As the day went on the clouds got darker. And then we regretted complaining about the heat. The sky opened up and it let us appreciate the hot sun.

And we walked and walked and walked....and walked. 

The rain let up for a little bit. We were able to get our camp set up. and dinner cooked. I wish we had brought a tent. Only one family did. Most of the families slept under giant lean-to's. It worked pretty well.

Wet clothes. Wet shoes. Wet from the outside in. Not a fan. But still not the hardest thing...yet.

The girls were still in good humor. The rain hadn't broken them and they still had a lot of energy. 

And then the sky darkened again. Adding to my joy. Really. I had decided before we left that since I had committed to going I was going to do it with as little complaining as possible. I think keeping my own attitude in check as to not rain on the parade of others was harder than I anticipated.

I din't know all the kids but this girls face and body language captured my feelings to a tee. It was hard standing in the rain when we just wanted to be warm and dry. But since that wasn't an option I tried to suck it up an smile.

Like Kate. She always had a smile. She was really fun to be around and I tried to follow her example.

Jim didn't love the rain either. He's a fan of dry.

More rain. I was ready for dry. It took until about 3:00 a.m. for me to feel dry in my sleeping bag. I was so thankful to finally be warm and dry. The rain hadn't started when I first woke up.

But it didn't take long to start. Luckily we had put our bedding away before it started. Jim was adamant that we broke camp asap to keep our stuff as dry as possible. Just one more thing I appreciated about him on this adventure. 

We did find our friends along the way. Of the 52 adults that came along 17 were from our little branch (church group). Like little drops of sunshine along the way....the rainy, wet way.

We had 121 kids in our trek. That is a lot of pushers and pullers.

When it came time for the women's pull I was nervous. The men were called away as part of the Mormon Battalion. We started without the boys and it felt odd, a little vulnerable. We climbed a pretty steep hill (on the road) and thought we were pretty bad A!!

But then we turned off the road. I am kicking myself for not getting a good picture of the hill we climbed. Of course it started to RAIN. Again. Not just a little drizzle or sprinkle. The heavens opened and it rained big fat drops of cold water. And what happens when water mixes with dirt....MUD. Epic mud. About 4-6" deep. We got to push our handcart up this long, steep mud bog. It. Was. Hard.

Our shoes felt like they weighed 10 lbs each as we slipped and slid and yelled and encouraged each other. It was so hard. I can't even describe the hopelessness that was creeping in when we had only climbed about half way and I felt spent. A couple women that were there to help with food and other things jumped in and helped us get almost to the top and then they went back to help the rest.

When we crossed over the top the girls started to laugh and celebrate. The trial was over and they had done it!! I was still reliving the horror of the "worst-case scenario" that was still playing in my mind. There were a couple times I thought for sure a couple of the girls were going to slip an fall under the cart. Bad day. But they didn't. So they celebrated.

Then we waited for the boys to rejoin us. We had lunch on the side of the road and drank about a gallon of water each. The rain stopped. And we dried out...mostly.

We stopped for a minute to reflect on our feelings about the day so far. Brock decided he would rather snooze. And that kid didn't move a muscle until it was time to move on. Then back to pulling he went.

After walking 13 miles dinner still needed to be made. And lean-to's still needed put up. And so the kids went to work. I rarely did anything but supervise. It was great!! They all just pitched in and worked together. I love my little family. They are troopers!!

I would look around the whole camp and was hard pressed to find kids working harder than mine. They really were amazing.

We would visit and laugh and talk about our day and life and just enjoyed our time (especially when it wasn't raining).

The last morning, Saturday, was my birthday. I was running on 3 hours of sleep from the night before (I'm a very light sleeper and not good at sleeping on the hard ground) so I was a little slow. Jim had the boys up and making breakfast. All I had to do was supervise while he went to help other families take down their shelters. I am so thankful for him!!

On Friday night Amber and I decided we wanted to look at the stars for a while so we set up our sleeping bags (and tarps...in case of rain) outside. The stars were so very pretty. In Omaha it is hard to find a place to go to really see some stars, so we were excited for the opportunity. We watched some clouds move in and bring some lightening to watch as well. It did end up sprinkling on us around 3 a.m. I pulled the tarp over my head and prayed with all my might that we would not get any serious rain. I prayed and prayed. Little did I know but Marjorie was 3 kids over doing the same thing!! God spared us and we only got a sprinkle. It was a tender mercy that I will never forget.

Our last day was an easy 5 miles. Our kids were on fire. They wanted to pull as fast as they could, as if that would make the buses get there to pick us up any faster. 

This is a happy Ma! It's her birthday and she is about an hour from the bus ride home. Awesome!!

We gathered all of them together one last time. They were hot and tired but I think the spiritual side of this adventure was filled nicely. We had a good balance.

And yes...yes it is what you think it is. Around here it's called ditch weed. I don't think it is very potent...but yeah, gotta love Iowa ;)

I sat in the grass looking at my dirty shoes. All the week before one verse of a Primary song ran through my head. "Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away. But he later learned to listen and obey. When we really try, the Lord won't let us fail. That's what Jonah learned deep down inside the whale." The line 'If we really try the Lord won't let us fail' really sunk in. I cried. In that moment it was real. I struggle with a lot of things. Most of them I keep to myself. But He knows. And through this song He was sending me a sweet message of hope and reassurance.

That was the last picture I took. I wish I had the shot of us walking into "Zion". Our group walked the last hundred yards in sight of some families that had brought food for us. They were cheering and waving. The kids around me were singing "How Firm a Foundation" and again the words pierced my soul. 
   
   "Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand.....

He'll strengthen us, help us and cause us to stand. He won't leave us. We just need to call on him, daily prayer...all day long.

   

In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,

In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,

At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--

As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,

As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be."

As our days demand, so our succor shall be. Not just the good things. He succors us with what we need. Some times we need rain. This trek was life changing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I did it. I cried the rest of the way into Zion and as we said good bye to our kids, I cried some more. I slept like the dead Saturday night and I am still nursing some blisters and muscle soreness...but I have been changed for good.