As a long term sub in a special needs classroom, I find myself doing all kinds of interesting things. Some things push me way outside my comfort zone. I am forced to interact with people in new situations daily. For someone who feels socially awkward and extremely shy....this can be an issue. I am in a class with 8 students right now. We have kids in grades K-4. We have 3 teachers in the room as well. If you haven't guessed, this class is filled with kids who can't function in a regular ed classroom due to behavior issues. Some are simply due to the fact that their ADHD is out of control...and others have more complicated issues. It fell upon me to take one of our more "complicated" students to his regular ed class and join them for a field trip. We took the long stinky (when you get that many 3rd graders on a bus...it smells) bus ride to the
Prairie Wetlands Learning Center. I'm not sure if you all know this about me....but I hate to be cold. I know, I know...then why do I live in Northern Minnesota....right? That's a long story for another day! So now that you know I don't like to be cold...picture a beautiful sunshiny day. It is 20* and the breeze is slight...for the most part. Cold...but nothing that we aren't used to for 6 months out of the year. I wore my best warmest coat and my snugly warm snow boots and my black insulated coveralls. I got all this cold weather gear when we lived in Idaho. Jim and I love to ride 4-wheelers and the best time to ride them in Palisades is in the winter. Wearing all this gear I did find walking to be quite cumbersome. The coveralls are stiff and unyielding and the boots, while very warm, were a bugger to walk in. Most of the time that we were at PWLC we were outside...walking around. Yeah...I have been taking a
group fitness class for a while now and pride myself on the fact that I have improved SO much. I can do most activities without struggling too much. But there, on our tour of the PWLC, I was not a happy camper. I will even admit to alternating between curses and prayers. Before we left for this trip I was told we would "get to" go out on the ice
a frozen pond just ready to open a portal to hell and suck someone down to a watery grave. I have issues with iced over ponds...rivers...lakes...etc. I think one should have respect for Mother Nature and STAY OFF THE ICE. And I intended to do just that. What I didn't realize is that we wouldn't be given the option. ARGH!! So here we are trudging through the snow and I start to realize that it sounds different under foot. Our lovely tour guide, Molly, stops our group and in true 3rd grade fashion starts a message with the first kid. "Hey, we're on the ice....pass it on." And then we stand there ON THE ICE for what seems like hours listening.
listening for what...cracking...water breaking free from it's icy prison...coming to kill us We stood there waiting for everyone to get the message before she led us to the safety of the shore. On our hike back to the barn, where we would continue the learning tour, Molly decided to lead us through some unbroken trail. Most of the cute 70 pound third graders just stayed on the top of the crusty snowy trail. Even Molly wasn't sinking in too far. I was doing pretty well...until....yeah, I somehow found a hole (most likely left by some stupid animal who doesn't have the sense to hibernate or travel south for the winter) and I sunk in up to my knee. Crap, crapcrapcrap. Not only did I sink up to my knee, but in my surprise at getting stuck...I also pitched forward and was laying in the snow...unable to free myself. I was just getting over the initial embarrassment when the panic set in. The 3rd graders shuffled passed me in their attempts to stay in line at all costs. I felt like an old dinosaur stuck in a tar pit. The more I tried to get up the more I was stuck. Lucky for me
I say lucky now, but at the time I really just wanted to be swallowed up by the snow monster who had my foot tightly in his grasp one kid brought his Dad to come and join the fun. He stopped next to me and asked
the stupidest question "Do you want me to help you up?" With a great deal of effort, I held back all the snarky comments (believe me, there were many and they were scathing) I wanted to hurl at him and just said "Sure." Now that I was free every thought became about staying upright. There were even a few prayers sent up for divine intervention on my behalf. The rest of our trip was relatively uneventful. No one fell, no one got lost and everyone (almost everyone) loved their visit. On the long bus ride back to the school I started to compare my day with my life in general. There have been times when I have had to walk out on that proverbial ice. I have been asked to do things so far outside my comfort zone, I thought surely I would die from the effort. I didn't realize, at the time, the benefits and opportunities for growth that come from doing things you never thought you could or would do. And of course when you become so encumbered by the things (all the worries and stresses) you are carrying around and the weight of it all crushes your will to go on....God, our Heavenly Father, sends someone to give you a hand. It might not be from an expected source, but it is help none the less. If you chose to accept that help with a cheerful attitude your burden will be lighter and you will be able to carry on. So in the coming days and months, I will try to keep my newly found cheerful attitude. I will try to find those that can use a lift out of the mire. No matter what life throws at us one thing I have learned time and time again is that we are rarely given what we want...but we are always given what we need. So, my friends, stay calm and carry on.