Disturbing

Or just disturbed...I'm not sure which. I think I'm coming down with a case of cabin fever. It's too cold to go out but dang...it's getting creepy in here.
(Plus it gave me the chance to play with my photoshop...tehehehe)

Who Says You Need A Wii

So I still want a Wii, but since I want a snowblower more....we had to do the next best thing. Bowling with my Dad was great. He hasn't bowled since before Kevin was born! hehehehe He didn't know he was bowling with trained professionals. Yeah, right. It was fun though. I am so thankful that he braved the cold and came to visit. It was fun to see him. When we first got to the bowling alley, there weren't many people there. But by the time we were starting our second game the place was packed. There were a bunch of cute little "Grandma Ladies" doing their weekly lunch bowl. They were fun to watch. My Dad had been complaining about how many people had been trying to set him up with their cousin, or this lady they work with or their sister who was 55 and had never been married (that's a selling point??). Jo didn't miss a beat. While they were watching the blue hairs bowl...she asked Grandpa..."So, do ya see any you like? " So funny. Anyway, it was good to have him here and...May is only 4 months away!!!

A Light Bulb Moment

I know you're probably tired of hearing about all of my self-discovery moments...but I had another one today. I was sitting in church, trying really hard to concentrate...a bit of dry council Sunday....you know. Anyway, I was sitting there (trying to ignore the brute sitting next to me trying to have a thumb war with me) and I heard a story of a man. God came to the man and told him to push on this big boulder. So the man began pushing and God left to see to other things. After many days of pushing the boulder, the man called on God and asked why the boulder hadn't moved. The man had done all God had asked and still the boulder had not moved. God looked at the man and told him that all he had been asked to do was push the boulder...not move it. God asked the man to look at the changes that had occurred in the mans life since the pushing had begun. It was true the man noticed how much stronger and more focused he had become. God just chuckled and told the man if he had wanted the boulder moved...he'd have just moved it himself.
I began to apply that to my own life. Most specifically, the most recent boulder I've been asked to push. More than once in the last 2 years I have found myself asking why. Why didn't Jim find a job closer to home? Why did my Mom get sick? Why did she have to die? Why do I have to make new friends? Why do my kids have to attend a Branch that has few kids their age? Why why why? My boulder just feels bigger and ever stagnant. Duh....was I asked to move it? No. I have been asked to push. So I then looked at my life from that point of view. My kids are learning to be missionaries. Kevin has had opportunities to hold callings that he wouldn't have had in a large ward...thus preparing him for his mission. In my own life, I can see the personal growth as well as the spiritual growth. I have stepped outside my own comfort zone and made new friends that have uplifted and strengthened me and thus helped me push on my boulder. In looking at the growth...I guess the pushing has done some good after all.
So to all of you that have been asked to push on a boulder and are getting discouraged by your lack of forward progress....look around.....maybe you're just supposed to push it. Maybe you're making more progress than you realize. Keep the faith....keep on pushing.

It's That Cold!

I seriously can't believe the weather this week. A "Sever Lack of Warmth" was in the forecast on the news for yesterday and today. School is cancelled...that NEVER happens. It is just bitter cold. The air temp at my house is -35 and there is some wind. I can't even make myself go out to get some groceries to feed my Dad when he gets here this afternoon. But, get this....on Monday it is supposed to be 30 degrees ABOVE zero. A 65 degree temperature swing in just 4 days...bizarre. Jo came down complaining about her room being cold. I told her to make sure her windows were shut tight (duh, right?). She called for me to come up and see. I thought "Oh, crap...she left one open." Nope. This is what we found.

Frozen shut. We couldn't open them even if we wanted to. So, for all my friends in Idaho, New Mexico and Arizona...a little perspective for you. It really could be colder for you. Really...it could be....

Good Grief

Grief what a funny sounding word. I can tell you though, there isn't much funny about it. In the past eleven months I have had the opportunity to contemplate things like grief and sorrow and their stark contrast to happiness and joy. I can honestly tell you that I've experienced both in the last eleven months. I have sat in a patch of sunlight and felt it warm my face (obviously this was months ago) and was happy. I have also sat in the same room and felt the overwhelming sadness of loss and a bit of regret. Regret, you ask....unfortunately, yes. But I'm not alone. There are very few articles and stories of people losing loved ones where regret didn't deepen their feelings of remorse. I am lucky in the sense that I was given the rare give of knowledge. I knew my Mom wasn't going to make it. Did I hope for the best, oh yeah. Did I help her fight...you'd better believe it. Did I know where that road was headed, yeah. Every month around the 14th, without fail, I am beset with all these emotions that I have no room for. They come in waves like the ocean, crashing down on me when I least expect it. These are the times when I have (finally) learned to cry it out. Just let go of the pretense of being "fine" and just feel. After a couple of days of purging myself of sorrow and grief, the sun comes back out and I begin to see the things around me that my Mom fought so hard to hold on to. I have learned that there are surprises in every day...good ones if your looking. And simple things like remembering the good times with Mom and appreciating her selflessness feel like a life preserver when I am going under. I have learned that one good part of grief is the way it has sharpened my memories. I have focused on times with my Mom that I never want to forget. As my heart heals I am thankful for the time I was given and the warnings to get my rear to Idaho. I am thankful for the people who have been placed in my path that, without their knowing, have made my burden a bit lighter. So on this, the 13th of January, I am looking for the good in grief.

What I've Learned

This week has been quite eye-opening for me. I have subbed in the kindergarten center with Miss Shelby all this week. Her para took a short, very needed break to heal a bit from the loss of her hubby. I have been very happy to help out. I have noticed a few changes in myself, though. I am much more willing to state the obvious. Example, you ask...well if I'm told there are two color choices for paper hearts...I might just remind you that I'm a girl. And if you tell me that we are having recess outside today because it is up to -5 degrees and the wind isn't blowing, I'll probably tell you that I have a runny nose. And if you really want to know...it was the kid next to me that tooted...not me. Another thing I have noticed about myself this week is that loud noises and commotion aren't as annoying as they were before Christmas break. It's true...I'm a bit more relaxed. Of course that could be because I literally chase after Shelby ALL day, except for the brief hour that she naps. When she is bored or in need of a smooth transition...we go practice walking up the stairs. So maybe I'm just so tired that I forget to cringe at the loudness I sometimes encounter. Kind of strange some of the things I have noticed about the kids; They love it when you remember their name. They just assume that because you are tall, you can and will tie their shoes for them. Most of them are inexhaustible. I swear if you could bottle their extra energy and sell it...you would be rich. A lot of them don't get enough validation at home so a smile and a thumbs up goes a long way with them. If they like you...they'll let you know. If they don't like you...you'd never guess it. They eat disgusting things. I'm not just talking boogers here. Have you seen school lunch lately? Sheesh, some of it looks like......well I won't go there....but you get the point. Oh yeah, the point...ah the point is... I know there is a point...where did I...oh yeah...I did learn a lot of things this week but probably the biggest thing I figured out has been little kids aren't just sticky noise makers. Well, some are...but I think I understand better why my Mom worked for the state in their Infant/Toddler program for those 20 plus years. Little kids don't care what you wear, or if you have the latest hair style (or heck, even if you found time to cover those stray grays). They don't care how big your house is or what kind of car you drive. All that matters to them is...ARE YOU NICE? That's it...do you smile, do you help them feel good about themselves? That is all that truly matters and somehow we forget that as we grow older. So my new goal (not really resolution cause I don't do those) is just to be nice. It can't be all that hard. Heck, after all...a 5 year old can do it.

For My Sisters

As some of you know...I have moments of filter failure. Sometimes the darndest things come out of my mouth. Kind of like temporary tourettes. Other times I have a glitch in my conversation maker. I just get really uncomfortable when people talk to me in certain situations. Come to think of it...I wonder if this is why I am loving my job right now. I have something in common with the little people I work with...hhhmmmm. Something to consider on another day. Well, anyway, as I was saying...there are times when I am just uncomfortable conversing. Like while in a bathroom stall. So I told you about the last time a little darling decided that a conversation (while we were in stalls on the opposite ends of the bathroom)was in order...it went something like this..."Hi, what's your name?" I was speechless for a moment while I tried desperately to come up with a response. "Um...Lori?" "Hi. I am peeing and then I'll be going back to class." Still my brain was so rattled at the thought of talking (gasp) in the stall that all I could come up with was a weak,"That's nice." Some might call me crazy...but there is a time and place for niceties...but come on...really? So today was another day with the little people. I walked into the bathroom to witness a game of stall hopping. I was beginning to wonder if there was ample TP or if she was just extra choosy. I chose an unoccupied stall and unfastened my belt. Kindergartner didn't waste a second, "Hey, are you wearing a belt?" I just sat and shook my head. "Yep, I am." Not to be silenced she then stated, "I have 2 belts. One is purple with a butterfly and the other is white with a circle. I like purple, it's my favorite color. My Mom thinks it's a good color too"....and on and on this child went. I was washing my hands when she informed me that she had yet to wipe. I encouraged her to do so and dried my hands. She came out of the stall asking for help with the tricky snap on her new jeans...and without even pausing at the sink she was on her way. I washed a second time and quickly left the bathroom for a more appropriate area for conversation. I swear...some day I'll get over this and maybe working at this school will help. Maybe....

16* And Smiling

Well, one of us is smiling. Jim is oblivious to the snow falling on his head. He is so happy that the wind isn't blowing that he just loves being outside.
We pulled snow off the roof and then shoveled it off the sidewalk. A simple case of "What comes down must go up"...well...simple if you have a snow blower. HHHHMMMM...Bygones. So Kevin had an interesting way to pass time after shoveling. He dug a ginormous tunnel through our snow bank. The snow bank is as tall as me now and about 4feet wide. He was reliving his winter camping days with his Scout troop. He really had the best Scout leaders. The men that took the time to take that pack of squirrelly boys camping and fishing and paint balling really have my undying admiration. Anyway...the snow is falling, the wind is calm and we are enjoying the last day of Jo's winter break.
I heard from my Dad today. I am so excited to tell you that he is coming to visit me in about 2 weeks. I am looking forward to a bit of warmth from home.

New Years Eve Antics Photos

New Years Eve Antics

As many of you know Jim turned the big 4 0 yesterday. And as you may also know...Jim doesn't like a lot of fuss made about his birthday... or anything else in general. We have some awesome friends here that helped us ignore the fact that it was Jim's birthday and we had a very low key New Years Eve party instead. Heather played hostess with the mostess and laid out a fabulous spread. All the usual suspects were there (no one died this time...although Salena wished the earth would swallow her up when she sang a solo to Jim...so funny). We played games and snacked and visited and discussed solutions to global famine. Of course we found several but we have chosen to keep them to ourselves so Al Gore can't claim them for his own. I think the clever mixture of friends and family last night added a layer of winkwink and nudgenudge that we haven't had before. Brilliant. I wish I'd had a video of the tom foolery but you know... a picture is worth a thousand words...some pictures you'll just have to make up your own words for.