His First Haircut

Well, it's not his FIRST haircut. It's just the first one he's given himself. Yep. Part of the pre-mission training program at the Reader household is haircut 101. For years and years I have cut Jim and Kev's hair. And before I did it....my Mom did. In fact in the 20 some odd years I've known Jim, he has never paid for a haircut. True. Kev has a couple of times....you know....when Mom wasn't doing it right. Whatever. I'll have you know I am a wiz with the clippers. But now it is time to pass the torch. Time for Kevy to learn this vital skill so that he will be able to maintain that close crop all the young missionaries are sporting now-a-days. Who knows...at $5 a pop....maybe he can supplement his missionary income. If you didn't know...we are waiting with baited breath to get his mission call in the mailbox. Just about the time I am leaving for Idaho
....it should be here. Drat! Oh well. Not much I can do about that. We are so excited and can't stop singing the primary song....."I Hope They Call Me On A Mission....." So if you have any advice or counsel that you think I will benefit from....please leave it for me....I am going a little crazy. Oh, and a shout out to Michelle, who at this very moment is being prepped for her c-section. Baby Cooper is set to arrive at about 7:30 (Mountain Daylight Savings Time). WOOHOO!!!

Outraged Update

So go ahead say it. I'm yellow, chicken, I'm gutless, a pansy a total weenie. Yep. But I've come to accept those qualities about myself and I try to focus on my more positive attributes. I had every intention of walking back into that tire shop and very nicely pointing out the fact that they had swindled, hoodwinked, bamboozled, tricked and otherwise cheated me. But after I told you every gory detail of the whole affair....I was over it. Vomiting my anger toward them all over my blog left me feeling lighter and less tortured. I was still a bit miffed...but less so at them and more at myself for knowing my limitations and still expecting a different outcome. In their defense, upon further conversation with my dear hubby, I learned that his discount wasn't based so much on his masculinity or his ability to strike fear into the hearts of swindlers everywhere. It was given more because the employee he was dealing with was also employed at the bakery. So he gave his boss (Jim) a "good guy discount" because he thought it might keep him in Jim's good graces.....suck up. So really...since I'm not in charge of any one's salary increase....I did not merit a $50 discount on my tires. Had my D.H. mentioned this to begin with I might not have felt like such a miserable failure to begin with. Oh well. Live and learn.

Outraged!

Never in my life, does a good deed go unpunished. That's just how it is. I think I am doing someone a favor and it backfires. Without fail I am left angry and wonder why I bothered. Why this early morning rant you ask? Well....it all started a couple of days ago. See, Jim and I are planning our anniversary get-away to the temple in Bismarck. The temple is only open for evening sessions on Thurs. & Fri. and then in the morning on Saturday. So we go and hit a couple of sessions and stay over night on account of the 4.5 hour drive. Well, we planned to take the green car (the theory is that if we put all the miles on that car and leave mine home more we will be able to make my car last until Kev gets home from his mission before we have to get into a new car payment) so that being the case....the green car needs new tires. But just 2 new tires since we bought 2 last August. Not sure why....I try to stay out of those decisions. Jim bought the last 2....obviously....because being new in town we hadn't found a reputable tire store/mechanic. If I walk into a tire store and ask for tires for my car the men feel obligated to charge me for changing the air in them first...no lie. Or they try to tell me that I need a new battery or spark plugs or new filters for the headlights. Seriously....even if that stuff does need replaced....I'm not the one who is going to OK it. It's just not my job. I will OK the cable guy to upgrade my internet connection or the bag boy to upgrade me to plastic bags....but I AM NOT the car guy. Never have been. So why...in a million years...I ask you...why did I think I would do Jim a favor and take the car in and buy 2 new tires? He has been so busy at work, he has had an audit this week and mass firings and a plant closing in the Sara Lee family....the guy has had a little on his mind. So he tells me the receipt for the last 2 tires is in the glove compartment and just ask if they will sell me 2 tires for that price. No biggie....right? I feel competent enough to ask for a price match. No problem. Yeah....start laughing now. I would if I were you. Ridiculous! So with receipt in hand....I enter the scummiest, smelliest most unfriendly tire shop I have ever been in. Let's just say it is no Les Schwab. As I walk in I see a guy lounging at the end of a long counter. He is greasy....but I didn't expect anyone working as a mechanic to win any Mr. Clean look-a-like contest...so I wasn't overly surprised. He watches as I nervously approach. (You all know how uncomfortable this kind of stuff makes me....the least he can do is be friendly) He just stares at me and waits for me to get ALL the way to where he is leaning. "Hi....", I nervously start.... "What do you want?" he replies. At that point I am no longer so sure this is a very good idea. I want to turn around and leave....but Jim is really busy and this will make his life so much easier... and I am nothing if not dependable. "I need 2 tires for my car....but I only want them if they are the same price as the last ones I bought here." I hand him my receipt and he smirks. "Yeah, they're the same." I was so relieved. I almost felt better....almost. He told me it would take about 30 minutes and he left. OK. Well....there is a little craft store at the end of the strip mall...I'll just walk there. So after spending 30 wonderful, stink-free minutes in Ben Franklin, I headed back to the tire store. On my arrival a different man is sitting behind the counter and a woman is next to him on the phone. Both of them stare mutely at me as I approach. Not a word.....is it just me or doesn't common courtesy require a greeting at some point? The man finally stands up and the woman continues to glare at me as if I had just interrupted some very important goings on at the trailer park. I stammered something about my car being fitted for new tires. "Oh! I didn't even know there was a car in the garage!" I feel about 2 feet tall as he yucks it up to his own little faux pas. Then from no where emerges the dirtiest man I have EVER see. It appears as though he was squeezed from the grease tube himself. He unceremoniously dumps my keys and the charge slip on the counter in front of the man...looks at me and stumbles off. "Well, let's see here. Huh, so you only wanted 2. Ok." I explained that we had bought 2 tires a few months ago. He asks to see the receipt to check if the price has gone up.....and smirks. This should have made me a little more wary but instead it just made me want out of there. "Sure enough, they are the same". He concurred with the other man and went to work with the calculator to figure the total. I give him my credit card and we conclude our transaction and I high tail it out of there. When I was a safe distance from the stench I glanced at both receipts. Gulp...there is a $50 difference. Upon closer inspection of the receipt I notice that Jim was credited for a tire return(?) to the tune of $50. Apparently I didn't warrant such a credit but still felt pleased that I had done this good deed for my honey. Fast forward to bed time. We were laying there discussing the day. Jim asked how much the tires came to. I told him about the $50 thinking he would explain it and all would be well. Oh...not so much. He was incredulous. "What? Why was it more? I told you to get the same price!" At this point in the day I was over it. I just explained that I didn't get the tire trade-in credit...didn't even know of such a thing...in fact...I'm pretty sure they charged me $5 to haul off the old ones. Then he started laughing at me. Yep.....not the nice, supportive, every thing's-going-to- be-fine chuckling....nope. He laughed the man-you-are-a-dumb-ass laugh. So what did I do? I started to cry. I know....so productive. I was just so mad. Not only did I feel like an idiot but I wasn't even sure why I should feel that way. Jim got the "tire credit" because there is (apparently) a huge mark up in tires and he asked them to give him a deal. WHAT THE HELL!! Did anyone think to tell me these things before they sent me into the lion's den? Obviously had I known the final price was not necessarily the FINAL price I could have figured out my own deal....and now the smirking made sense. They were laughing at me!! So as I boiled about that for a couple of HOURS....I decided the only thing to do is march my female self back in there and let them know there has been a mistake. I asked for the same price that we'd paid earlier and our deal was not honored. So pray for me today as I swim with the sharks again. I just LOVE confrontation so much....I just hope I don't start muttering things about pods of people and other such nonsense.

Sunshine in the Sandbox

Shelby and I went outside for recess today. It was a beautiful sun-filled day....why not....right? We ran, I pushed her on the swing and we played in the sand. Not sand, really....more of a pea gravel. It is a dirty bunch of rocks that inevitably get into my shoes...but for Shelby it is Heaven. It's like the huge rice table in my Mom's classroom. Her kids would use it for tactile stimulation. I loved it when she would fill it with split peas. I could play in that all day. Anyhoo....Shelby was finished swinging and was sitting under her swing. I sat next to her to be at a better vantage point for interrupting the thought process that brought a handful of rocks to her mouth. As we basked in the sun...the cutest pair of pink and green and white Adidas ran past and stopped at the swing next to us. Of course I commended this little cherub on her shoe choice. "Thanks," she said in her squeaky munchkin voice. "They're new." "Oh," I replied with a knowing tone", I love new shoes....especially pink ones." She informed me that she loves all the colors on her shoes and began swinging herself higher and higher. "You know what I love most about new clothes?" she asked me. "I feel so much older when I wear them." "Really?" I asked. "Yeah, like 6 or 7." At this point I am just trying not to laugh. She was just so cute...and serious. Then another class joined us outside and Dominic....my Dominic....jumped on the swing next to my little blond friend. "Hey," he yelled to me in his 80-year-old-smoker voice. "Can you come push me?" "Sorry, Dominic." I replied. "I have to stay close to Shelby." "I can do it", my little friend replied. Picture this teeny tiny little wisp of a thing standing behind this normal sized 6 year old boy on a swing. But she put he back into it and began pushing Dominic again and again until he was over her head. "What do you tell her?" I asked Dominic. "Thank you!" he replied. She sat back on her swing and gazed at me with a look older than her years. "Even though he is a bully to me.....it was the nice thing to do." Ya coulda knocked me over with a feather at that point. "You know what, sweetie, YOU are a good friend. I hope someday I can be a good friend like that." And just like that recess was over. I took Shelby inside and ended my shift by handing her over to Cindy for lunch. I got in my car and prepared to head home. I sat for a minute outside the school .... listening to the remaining class enjoy their recess. How many kids on that playground today would have helped the bully swing his swing. Would I have?

Bird Brained

As I was explaining to Jo, the reasons I might go to the costume ball next month...Kev hollered up from his man cave in the basement, "Mom!! You've got to come see this." Now...I never like to hear those words from anyone....much less from someone in the basement...(whispering)....where the frogs live. Ok. So they don't actually live IN the basement....but occasionally you can see them in Kev's window well....from his basement window.....ick. I reluctantly went downstairs to see what had him in a dither. I will tell you that I did warn him that whatever he was about to show me had better not gross me out in ANY way, shape or form. Upon entering his room...nothing seemed amiss. There were a few scattered shirts in varying degrees of clean on his floor....not out of the ordinary. I relaxed a little not seeing any frogs. But then there was this horrible crashing sound against the window. After I peeled myself off the ceiling....I yelled at, "Kev what the heck that was?!?!" I looked out the window again and there was a robin sitting on the piece of wire mesh that is haphazardly cast over the window well in hopes of keeping out a few of the frogs. Apparently this numb-skull had been trying for most of the morning to get in through that window. He even had the nerve to leave little birdy footprints on the glass. How rude!

Aaahhhh Spring

The neighbor's maple tree is leafing out. I can not tell you the joy that fills my soul at this sight. We have some quakies in our backyard that are putting out those fuzzy pre-leaf pods. Oh my....how I have longed for spring. It is finally here and I am determined not to miss a moment.

Overheard

So I was sitting in kindergarten today. I have been a regular in the class for about 4 months. The children are comfortable with me and allow me to see them in their natural state. We were waiting for the teacher (aka herd leader) to begin the count around...an amusing ritual that they do every morning to ascertain how many of the herd are missing due to illness or ritual haircut or other such goings on. There is a girl...a fairly cute specimen. She is a sassy, spunky little imp and her antics have frequently caused the herd leader to roll her eyes and gnash her teeth. She was telling her leggy, blond, future bombshell carpet neighbor (yes...at 6 years old) how nice she looked with the pink headband in her hair. When in actuality the headband looked a mess. I think Miss Sass knew this, but in order to secure her place among the males of the herd she came up with a plan for The Leggy One. Miss Sass said to The Leggy One, "You should totally wear a headband all the time. It really bring out your eyes. It makes them look so....clear." And so it begins.

It's a Secret

shshshshshsh....Don't tell anyone.....but Jo has a secret admirer. Yeah. hehehe A very non-descriptive envelope came in the mail a couple of days ago. I will admit...I thought it was from Sarah. It didn't have a return address so I was a little nervous of the contents. I am a big believer in postal privacy...but will admit that if something looks threatening or overly ominous I will open it even if it isn't addressed to me. This envelope looked benign. It did feel a bit lumpy though. When I held it up to the light (yeah, I did that!) I could see a shape on the end of a length of twine? maybe pleather? I had no idea what it could be and it was another 30 minutes until Jo was due home. I was more than a little curious. Finally she waltzed through the door. I practically raced to the door with the envelope practically burning a hole in my hand.She, sensing my excitement, tore it open and pulled out a necklace and a short (oh so short) note. She hopes it's from a boy that she is friends with. I think mostly because then it wouldn't be so creepy. I have been able to relate or empathize with most of the stuff my kids have gone through. But with this...we are entering new territory. Slightly bizarre, slightly creepy and definitely flattering territory. WOW.....by baby is growing up SO fast!!!

I Love Spring

I love spring. I love the colors. I love the warm air. I love the new growth. I really love my new purse that the Easter Bunny brought me. My other purses have overcome their initial jealousy and welcomed the new-comer with open arms. Wuv, twoo wuv.

Easter Memories

When I was about 9 we had a special Easter party (I think it was Easter...Mom's not here to ask....so...) in the community room at the apartment complex of my Aunt Pam. There were a lot of relatives there. All of my Mom's sisters and her brother were there with their families. My Grandma and Grandpa Goodwin were there. So were Grandma Goodwin's Mom and Dad.....Nana and Grandaddy. A more perfect couple you'd be hard pressed to find. I remember there being jelly beans (I really like jelly beans....especially now that Starburst makes fruit flavored beans). There was cake and a lot of laughter....but what remember the most is the tire swing outside. The devilish, puke inducing, dizzy-making tire swing. The tire for this swing was laid flat and connected to chains in four places....so four kids could ride at the same time. My Dad...hehehe I love my Dad....but he doesn't always display the most sound judgment when playing with his kids, or grandkids for that matter. He drives too fast on the 4 wheeler, or throws the ball to hard, or pushes the swing too high. My Dad is the youngest of 3 boys that are each one year apart in age. He had it rough as a kid and survived....I think he is sure his kids and grandkids will be that tough too. That being said... my Dad was the most fun guy ever to grow up with. Anyway...back to the swing. So as I sat there on the swing with my cousins or siblings....or who ever else was dumb enough to sit on the devil swing...Dad offered to push us. Not back and forth in traditional swing fashion. Oh no....We would be going in circles. A lot of circles. And really fast. I remember holding on and trying to stay upright.....and laughing until I though my head would burst. Everything was great.....until....it wasn't. I wanted off. I had to get off....this wasn't fun anymore. And then it really wasn't. The combination of techni-colored jelly treats mixed with high velocity spinning resulted in a very ugly, quickly spinning trail of gooey eeeewwwww. Yeah....ick. Of course then Dad was SURE I'd had enough and took me seriously when I asked him to stop. I got off the swing and promptly fell over sideways. Man, my stomach felt queasy. It was so not good. It stayed queasy for days. Seriously....days. And now...to this day almost 30 years later, I get queasy looking at a tire swing. No lie. But that being said....I had an awesome time over all. So my advice on this Easter day is....make good family memories today. What a perfect excuse for family time. Easter, a day for us to celebrate the sacrifice our Savior made for us allowing us to live with him...and our families....again.

Not In Kansas Anymore

So funny. My son is taking classes here at the community college in town. He is preparing to serve a mission for our church and decided to save the money he would have spent on tuition at an out of state school (read BYU-Idaho) so he would have more moolah to pay for said mission. Today I asked him how his English class was. I never see him doing homework...not that I see him much at all. But he said it was fine, he'd had a test today. He is sure he did really well and laughed because his teacher had passed it out and then had to return to jail.....(sound of record scratching)....huh??? Because I am so articulate when caught off guard...huh? is all I could come up with. Yep, his English professor received his 4th DUI and is in jail. He is allowed to come to class (with a police escort) long enough to pick up the previous days assignment and hand out a current assignment. Then they haul him back out to the paddy wagon and ship him back to his cell. I asked Kev what happens if one of his students has a question about the assignment??? Well...the nice guards have let him set up office hours so his students can stop by and get help should they need it. wow.... I come from a small community where there are a couple larger colleges nearby. I don't think I have ever heard of a professor on work-release from jail. I am suffering from a little culture shock today. Oh me...oh my .......huh?

Would You Go Back??

Not me. Not for a minute. I didn't love high school much. Of course if I had attended class a little more frequently....or chosen better friends....maybe I'd be singing a different story. Jo has reminded me....yet again....how hard it was to be a teenager. The drama of it all leaves me cold. I vividly remember trying so hard to fit in somewhere....anywhere. Of course, mine was an altered reality. Having a chemical imbalance as a teen left me with what I now call sideways thinking. Everyone in a room may have seen the same thing happen...or heard the same conversation....and they would have drawn the same conclusion. I...on the other hand...would see or hear something entirely different from what they did. That processing problem caused so much drama for me. It was just unreal. Luckily....Jo does not have that particular problem. Jo is a very head strong, confident teen. She fits in relatively easily. She hasn't always chosen the most morally centered friends....but most of them have been good kids. When we moved here...it is Jo that I worried about the most. Being surrounded with kids who are being raised with the same religious teachings...she was bound to find a couple that weren't defying their parents or testing the waters of sin a little too frequently. That safety net was removed when we moved here. Don't get me wrong. There are some great kids in her school. But few of the parents are as alarmed with the idea of teen drinking...or pre-marital sex...or even rated R movies as Jim and I are. It has been a challenge to get Jo to vocalize her morals and values to her friends....because they are uncool or prudish. She wants to fit in. She doesn't want to be the "weird Mormon girl". But at the same time...she wants to maintain her standards too. Such a conundrum. How to fit in the world without being of the world. Isn't that what we all strive for? How do we hold ourselves above the evils of man....while remaining grounded and avoid seeming pious? hhhhmmmm Well, I am so thankful to have survived high school. I just hope that I can help Jo negotiate the obstacle course of high school and that she can emerge unscathed from it's fiery depths.

My, How Time Flies

So, whether or not you are interested...today, April 4th is my 17th wedding anniversary. Yep. 17 years. In some respects it seems like just yesterday I was walking on the arm of my darling Dad to my patiently waiting grinning groom. What a great day. All our family and friends gathered in one place.Fabulous. And then in some ways it feels like I've known him for centuries. We've been through a lot...Jim and I. A whole lot....and I like to think we are stronger for it. Ours has never been the typical storybook romance....but he'll always be my knight in shinning armor.

The Sugarman

I love the Facebook Flair someone sent me about lemonade. "When life gives you lemons find someone with sugar so your lemonade don't suck." Amen. I do try to make lemonade with the stinking ton of lemons that has compromised my life over the last 18 months. With a positive attitude, one can accomplish great things. I guess.... As you know, I have had the flu for the last few days. I'm not really into laying around moaning about how rotten I feel. It annoys me when others do that...so I try to suck it up. Of course this tends to make people think that I feel fine and that I should make them something for dinner. Rotten people any way. But after the deluge of thick, heavy, wet snow we received (via the angry "global warming" Gods)...I decided that while my delightful neighbor was snow blowing my driveway (so the kids and I didn't have to shovel for a third time) I would find some sugar. I already had the lemons...so why not. I put my jacket on (no big coat or hat or boots for me!!) and headed out. Keep in mind as you critique the photos that I really do feel like crap. Jim was pulling up in the driveway as I headed out to build me a sugarman. I convinced him that in my weakened state I might need some help with this lunacy. So he grabbed his gloves and joined in. Kevin came out shaking his head and laughing in disbelief. I told him to do something useful...so he went in and brought out the camera. Fool... So here is the sugarman that I built to go with my lemons. I hope he sweetens your lemons for you like he did for me. I just love this guy...