My Last Day

I'm not sorry to say that today was my last day as a full-time sub. I was a little sad last week when I thought about all of the amazing women that I have been blessed enough to work with. These women have devoted their lives to educating children. They are good to their very cores and I have learned so much from them. As I was thinking about it last week....I decided there were a few kids I was going to miss too. I have become very fond of a few of them. And then today happened. As of this minute...I am over it. I am done. I am laying part of the blame on the fact that I am tired....and I am blaming the stress in my life for that. I am also laying part of the blame on PMS. Everyone with any possibility of rational thought knows you never mess with a hormonal woman...it just isn't done in polite society. The rest of the blame has to be laid at the feet of one of the kids in class today. We'll call him Bouncy Boy...or BB for short. He has been struggling lately and has had some med changes...BUT...I have seen this kid make a conscious effort to make good choices and pull himself out of a behavior pattern before it gets out of hand....so I know it can be done. There was another sub in the room today. (The room I've been in for the last few months has a teacher and 2 para-professionals.) The teacher left the room for a minute and BB lost it. I mean literally...he lost his frickin' mind. He started kicking me and when I was escorting him to the "quiet area" he swacked me with his head and continued to kick me. All I could think of was...stay calm...don't kill him in front of the other kids....don't get blood on my shoes...And lucky for me...I did just that. I got him to the "quiet area" with some assistance from the other sub and quickly walked away from him so I would not be tempted to place my hands on him in any way. My hands were shaking when I got back to my desk. I was close to screaming obscenities when the cutest little girl (when she chooses to be) came up to me and in her sweet little Cindy Loo Hoo voice asked me if I would read her a story. In that instant...my anger was defused and I was no longer seeing a red halo around everything in my field of vision. I read to this sweet little poppet and I could feel my blood pressure return to it's normal range. The rest of the day was rocky for BB and I. While I still wanted to set him on fire...I tried to keep my distance as much as one can while explaining the mysteries of second grade math from BB and finished the day with relief. I will miss Poppet and the others...but BB...not so much. I will miss the women I have become friends with and I will miss their support and encouragement. 2 years ago when this job literally fell in my lap...I wasn't sure why. I have learned so much and have grown from the experiences I've had. You just gotta trust "The Plan". There is one. It really isn't our job to figure out what it is...our job is to just do it. I have told my kids a lot lately...God doesn't always give us what we want....but he ALWAYS gives us what we need. If we are lucky...they turn out to be the same thing.