A Whole Pile of Cute

I suppose I misspoke when I said my days are always the same. While it's true that we do some of the same things everyday; lunch, reading books, playing with cars, watching PBS Kids, watching videos of Michael on my phone...Our days are very different because he is different. Every day he changes. It is marvelous to watch. Some days he's adventurous. 

Some days he's content to sit on my lap.

We nap and eat and play. And every day is different in it's sameness. I like it that way.

His favorite person is probably Jo. They are so cute together. I love that they have had this time to connect. My sisters got that time with my kids and it made a lasting bond between them all.

Playing around and discovering new things is one of Michael's favorite things. He is fearless. I love seeing things through his eyes. Even the dryer looks exciting when seen for the first time.

Kevin and I have also been able to spend a bunch of time together. It has been nice to reconnect with him after him being on his own for the last 5 years (in case you need help with the math, he left for Texas in 2009) Man, saying that out loud felt really strange. 5 years on his own. I guess he really is a grown-up. 

So while the subject of my photos seems to imply that my days are mundane and the same, I guess they are as different as Michael is every morning. I am so thankful that I get to be part of his every day. I love that I get to notice the little changes in him every morning. I love it when he runs to me with his arms stretched in front of him wanting me to pick him up. He melts my heart and I love him.

Flora and Fawna

I don't think I told you about the busted bunnies yet. So one bright, beautiful Saturday morning I was sitting on the front porch watching Jim wash our fleet of cars (as per usual). The dogs were out there with us. Nellie was packing around her frisbees and Darla was sniffing around at all the new smells. I was looking at my phone when I heard some chirping. As I looked up (to my horror) the chirping wasn't coming from birds but from Nellie EATING BABY BUNNIES!! She had stumbled upon a nest a dumb Mama bunny had dug under the tree in our front yard. I watched as 3 or 4 little bunnies scampered off to the neighbors yards. I also saw 2 seek shelter in our grass away from the carnage. I yelled at Nellie to "leave it" and "get over here" which (to her credit) she promptly did. I scooped up the 2 in my yard and tried to put them back in the hole. They weren't having it and I can't really blame them. There were 2 injured and 2 dead bunnies already there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to try to keep them. I think they are yucky. So I had Kevin call the Animal Control in our area. They came and took the 2 dead and 2 injured bunnies. The animal control officer said they were close to leaving the nest and the others would be fine. Good news?? For me, yes. Then I didn't have to worry about finding little dead bunnies littering my yard....again. Dang dog. 

These are my Mom's favorite flowers. They are growing in the yard of my dear friend Renae. She is a grower. She grows the most beautiful flowers. She comes from a long line of growers. Her yard is filled with flowers that have come from the yards of her Grandmothers and other growers like her. I love her yard. I love that she sends me flowers like this to brighten my day.

I got to sit and visit with my friends here on Renae's back porch. I was so at peace sitting there with Heather and Renae. I cannot put into words the healing power these women have on my soul. I am so blessed.

The leaves are starting to change here. I have never lived anywhere that has such a long Autumn. It is so beautiful. I am thankful for the lovely Springs and Falls here. Makes the hot, humid summer bearable. The leaves in my yard are about 3 weeks behind the trees on 90th St. I will get to enjoy many more weeks of beautiful colors before the snow flies. I love living in Omaha.

On our way home from picking up Theresia and her things (and moving her here with us) we passed this field of sunflowers. When we lived in MN and drove 45 minutes to church we would drive by fields of these beauties. I loved seeing all their bright faces turned to follow the sun. I think if I was a flower I'd be a sunflower...or a daisy. I love flowers.

An Ice Bucket

The trend on FaceBook and other social media right now is the ALS ice water challenge. The idea started when a man (a football player??) with ALS challenged his friends to donate $$ ($10 for ice bucket bravers and $100 for those who don't want to dump a bucket) to ALS research and to dump a bucket of ice water on their heads in support. It got me thinking about this woman I used to know. She was fierce!!! She loved with her whole heart. She protected those she loved with the bravery of a whole pack of lions. My husband called her grandma. I called her Blanche. She was the sassiest old gal I had ever met. She told my dad (on the day I married her favorite grandchild) that if I did anything to hurt her Jimmy she would kill me. My dad believed her. And so did I. It wasn't very long after I married Jim that Blanche got sick. The diagnosis was grim: ALS. We all watched as this fierce woman that we loved was attacked. Her body betrayed her. I would go over once a week so her husband, Howard, could get in on a game of golf with his buddies. It was so good for me...and for our relationship. I made lunch for us and made sure she took her meds (even when she didn't feel like it). One of her friends made a comment to me once that I'll never forget. She said that when she heard it was me who was taking care of Blanche while Howard was out, she was worried. Not for Blanche, but for me. She was sure Blanche would walk all over me. But she was impressed to see the way I was able to handle the old girl. She thanked me for not treating her like a old sick woman. For being just as sassy as Blanche. High praise. Over the next few months that I was able to do this small act of service, we became friends. Blanche eventually told me that she knew her Jimmy was in good hands. I miss her (though not as much as her daughter and her sweet grandson do). She taught me a lot about living. I am thankful for the memories I have of her. I am thankful to be in a position now to donate money (in her name) to fight the disease that took her from us too soon. If you get a chance look up your local ALS charity and donate to find a cure. 
                        (Here is where I donated http://www.alsintheheartland.org/ )

Most days I am thankful for social media. This is proof that it has it's place in our crazy world. Raising awareness for this disease is something I am grateful for. 

A Skinny Book

I have a tradition every year. On June first I print out a blog book of the previous year's posts. My very first blog book is about an inch thick, but I included the comments. Second blog book is a little thicker. The third is about the same, but without the comments. The fourth is at least an inch thick with the fifth coming in somewhat thinner. The sixth I am sad to say is puny. It is a sad representation of those who have gone before. Am I busier now? No, I don't think so. Has blogging run it's course for me?? Maybe. I still like it, mostly. I think it comes down to self doubt. Putting my inner-most thoughts on the internet for anyone to see was once easy. I didn't care what "they" thought. Why do I now? I still want to blog. I use it, more or less, as a journal. I like to be able to look back on the past and see what colors were on my walls and what my kids were doing. I like that. I think I'll try to be less all-or-nothing and be more just-do-something. 

Michael continues to grow and change right before our very eyes. He has 10 teeth right now (15 months old). He still loves his books but has now decided that watching videos of himself on our phones is the bees knees. It really is funny to watch him grin while he watches himself find his nose or play with Daddy. My heart melts every time. He is walking and climbing on everything now. We have to watch him closely. He loves Darla and she will actually play with him now, coaxing him to throw a ball or tug on a toy. Seriously cute! He will still eat most everything you put out for him. Even the crust on his PB&J. He likes peas and carrots but DOES NOT like green pepper. At.All. Funny stuff. He loves his shoes. I took him to the shoe store the other day and you'd have thought we were in Toys 'R Us. It was awesome. He is sweet and funny and has dance skills to rival my own. I am so blessed to be able to spend this time with him. I recognize how precious it is. I try not to forget that.

 Mostly our days have a comforting sameness to them. I love how easy-going he is. I love that he likes to hold my hand when we are sitting together. I love him more than I ever thought possible.

 The rest of the family are doing good things as well. Kevin has a 3.66 GPA for his 3 semesters at Metro Community College. I am very proud of him. He has struggled in the past with college. I love that he has found balance. Abby is working and doing so well finding balance as well. Being a working Mom is no fun. But she can see that this short term sacrifice will be worth it. Jo is working and preparing to go to school. It messes with her anxiety to come at it too fast so we are taking our time. She has also been battling a staph infection for the last 6 months. It has been very hard. We hope we are on the right path this time. I need her to feel well again. 

I have so many things to blog about. I will just have to focus on posting more regularly. Hopefully my next blog book will be thicker and full of the beautiful life I am living. 

The Hardest Thing

I have said this before, but this time I really mean it....this is a really long post. 45 pictures to be exact. Be warned. So Jim and I were Ma and Pa for our Stake's Pioneer Trek. We had a couple months to prepare. But what we didn't know is how to really prepare.

When I got home and scrolled through these pictures I didn't even remember taking them. We were so different by the end.

Our family consisted of Jim and me and our 11 children. We knew 4 of them pretty well before we started and by the end we were a family. We faced our trials and overcame them as a team.

We sang a lot along the way. We talked and laughed.Our first day we went 7 miles. Not too shabby. We walked and pushed. We weren't on any roads the first day. We were going up and down some pretty steep hills.

Our first family photo. From left to right we have Jim, Amber, Kate, Eden, Cori, Maggie, Talia, Me, Collin, Jacob, Tannen, Brock and William.

We were divided into companies with 3 families in them. We were the orange company. We had the Snyder's and the Walker's in our company. We stayed together and organized pretty much the whole way. Luckily for me Marjorie Snyder loves to camp and is one of my best friends. Made my life easier!!

We turned our wagons around to go down steeper hills. As a team or like a family we had to work together to keep our cart from tipping over or getting stuck.

Day 1 and still smiling. Of course that was before the rain started.

Holes to go around and hills to not fall down. Our kids were great pullers and seemed to share Jim's sense of urgency to get where we were going. They weren't always the most patient when we had to wait for slower moving companies.

When we would get to the bottom the girls in our family would pull the cart while the boys would go back and help the family behind us.

And we would go slower so they could easily catch up.

We took a lot of water breaks. It was really warm the first part of the day. We were wet from the inside out.

This is Brock. I am so proud of him. He is the son of my friend Katrina. When we first started he would stand apart from our group. But by the middle of the first of the first day he was warming up to us. I am so glad he was in our family. He also turned out to be one of our best pullers. And by the end he was in thick with us!!

This was the second Trek for Jacob. We named him one of our older brothers. He kept the kids rotated on the cart so everyone got a turn and no one was over-worked.

As the day went on the clouds got darker. And then we regretted complaining about the heat. The sky opened up and it let us appreciate the hot sun.

And we walked and walked and walked....and walked. 

The rain let up for a little bit. We were able to get our camp set up. and dinner cooked. I wish we had brought a tent. Only one family did. Most of the families slept under giant lean-to's. It worked pretty well.

Wet clothes. Wet shoes. Wet from the outside in. Not a fan. But still not the hardest thing...yet.

The girls were still in good humor. The rain hadn't broken them and they still had a lot of energy. 

And then the sky darkened again. Adding to my joy. Really. I had decided before we left that since I had committed to going I was going to do it with as little complaining as possible. I think keeping my own attitude in check as to not rain on the parade of others was harder than I anticipated.

I din't know all the kids but this girls face and body language captured my feelings to a tee. It was hard standing in the rain when we just wanted to be warm and dry. But since that wasn't an option I tried to suck it up an smile.

Like Kate. She always had a smile. She was really fun to be around and I tried to follow her example.

Jim didn't love the rain either. He's a fan of dry.

More rain. I was ready for dry. It took until about 3:00 a.m. for me to feel dry in my sleeping bag. I was so thankful to finally be warm and dry. The rain hadn't started when I first woke up.

But it didn't take long to start. Luckily we had put our bedding away before it started. Jim was adamant that we broke camp asap to keep our stuff as dry as possible. Just one more thing I appreciated about him on this adventure. 

We did find our friends along the way. Of the 52 adults that came along 17 were from our little branch (church group). Like little drops of sunshine along the way....the rainy, wet way.

We had 121 kids in our trek. That is a lot of pushers and pullers.

When it came time for the women's pull I was nervous. The men were called away as part of the Mormon Battalion. We started without the boys and it felt odd, a little vulnerable. We climbed a pretty steep hill (on the road) and thought we were pretty bad A!!

But then we turned off the road. I am kicking myself for not getting a good picture of the hill we climbed. Of course it started to RAIN. Again. Not just a little drizzle or sprinkle. The heavens opened and it rained big fat drops of cold water. And what happens when water mixes with dirt....MUD. Epic mud. About 4-6" deep. We got to push our handcart up this long, steep mud bog. It. Was. Hard.

Our shoes felt like they weighed 10 lbs each as we slipped and slid and yelled and encouraged each other. It was so hard. I can't even describe the hopelessness that was creeping in when we had only climbed about half way and I felt spent. A couple women that were there to help with food and other things jumped in and helped us get almost to the top and then they went back to help the rest.

When we crossed over the top the girls started to laugh and celebrate. The trial was over and they had done it!! I was still reliving the horror of the "worst-case scenario" that was still playing in my mind. There were a couple times I thought for sure a couple of the girls were going to slip an fall under the cart. Bad day. But they didn't. So they celebrated.

Then we waited for the boys to rejoin us. We had lunch on the side of the road and drank about a gallon of water each. The rain stopped. And we dried out...mostly.

We stopped for a minute to reflect on our feelings about the day so far. Brock decided he would rather snooze. And that kid didn't move a muscle until it was time to move on. Then back to pulling he went.

After walking 13 miles dinner still needed to be made. And lean-to's still needed put up. And so the kids went to work. I rarely did anything but supervise. It was great!! They all just pitched in and worked together. I love my little family. They are troopers!!

I would look around the whole camp and was hard pressed to find kids working harder than mine. They really were amazing.

We would visit and laugh and talk about our day and life and just enjoyed our time (especially when it wasn't raining).

The last morning, Saturday, was my birthday. I was running on 3 hours of sleep from the night before (I'm a very light sleeper and not good at sleeping on the hard ground) so I was a little slow. Jim had the boys up and making breakfast. All I had to do was supervise while he went to help other families take down their shelters. I am so thankful for him!!

On Friday night Amber and I decided we wanted to look at the stars for a while so we set up our sleeping bags (and tarps...in case of rain) outside. The stars were so very pretty. In Omaha it is hard to find a place to go to really see some stars, so we were excited for the opportunity. We watched some clouds move in and bring some lightening to watch as well. It did end up sprinkling on us around 3 a.m. I pulled the tarp over my head and prayed with all my might that we would not get any serious rain. I prayed and prayed. Little did I know but Marjorie was 3 kids over doing the same thing!! God spared us and we only got a sprinkle. It was a tender mercy that I will never forget.

Our last day was an easy 5 miles. Our kids were on fire. They wanted to pull as fast as they could, as if that would make the buses get there to pick us up any faster. 

This is a happy Ma! It's her birthday and she is about an hour from the bus ride home. Awesome!!

We gathered all of them together one last time. They were hot and tired but I think the spiritual side of this adventure was filled nicely. We had a good balance.

And yes...yes it is what you think it is. Around here it's called ditch weed. I don't think it is very potent...but yeah, gotta love Iowa ;)

I sat in the grass looking at my dirty shoes. All the week before one verse of a Primary song ran through my head. "Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away. But he later learned to listen and obey. When we really try, the Lord won't let us fail. That's what Jonah learned deep down inside the whale." The line 'If we really try the Lord won't let us fail' really sunk in. I cried. In that moment it was real. I struggle with a lot of things. Most of them I keep to myself. But He knows. And through this song He was sending me a sweet message of hope and reassurance.

That was the last picture I took. I wish I had the shot of us walking into "Zion". Our group walked the last hundred yards in sight of some families that had brought food for us. They were cheering and waving. The kids around me were singing "How Firm a Foundation" and again the words pierced my soul. 
   
   "Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand.....

He'll strengthen us, help us and cause us to stand. He won't leave us. We just need to call on him, daily prayer...all day long.

   

In ev'ry condition--in sickness, in health,

In poverty's vale or abounding in wealth,

At home or abroad, on the land or the sea--

As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,

As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be."

As our days demand, so our succor shall be. Not just the good things. He succors us with what we need. Some times we need rain. This trek was life changing. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But I did it. I cried the rest of the way into Zion and as we said good bye to our kids, I cried some more. I slept like the dead Saturday night and I am still nursing some blisters and muscle soreness...but I have been changed for good.