The Magic Shirt

I think I have stumbled upon something truly magical. Let me just say that I hope this doesn't sound boastful. That is not my intention at all. I am simply amazed at the power there is in a simple shirt. Some may say they were just being nice...well...I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go back a bit. See, I bought this shirt at Eddie Bauer in Fargo. It's really just a fancy t-shirt. It has a v-neck with cute ruffles half way down the front...kinda like a tuxedo shirt. It's a lovely dusty shade of purple...truth be told....it really doesn't do much for my skin tone....but I love the color so I wear it. For me, it is low cut. If you see me at all, you probably have noticed that I NEVER wear anything low cut. EVER. A-I don't want to put too much of myself out there. I hate tugging at my clothes, readjusting just isn't my thing. B-I used to be such a big flirt. Now I am a mess of social anxiety that comes out at the WEIRDEST times. Sometimes I can control it....sometimes not so much. So attracting attention from the opposite sex is something I tend to avoid. So, back to the shirt. It isn't overly-revealing but it is more so that any other t-shirt in my closet. I never noticed it's magical properties until one day.....while walking down the middle of Lowe's (love that store) My Girl and I were called to by an employee, the guy in charge of the lighting department. He was middle-aged (like me!) balding (so he was sporting the Mr. Clean look) and not a total troll. He made a comment about My Girl's hat she was wearing and then came over to talk to us. Weird...OK....I didn't make a total fool of myself responding to his banter and then we continued on our way. I had picked up a new light fixture for my laundry room and was SO completely jazzed because it was clearance priced. When we got to the check out My Girl and I were talking and I wasn't paying attention like I should have been and the total seemed a bit high. I got to the car and looked at my receipt and saw that the light had rung up at full price. BUMMER!! I hauled it back into the store and was told by the lady that I would have to go back to the lighting dept. and talk to Dale....a.k.a. Mr. Clean. So I got back there and he was standing by the light I had chosen and we looked at the stickers.....my light was not on sale. It was for the one under it. But...he decided that we could split the difference and he knocked $30 off the price for me. SCORE....not the clearance price but hey....who's complaining. I did manage to keep my foot out of my mouth for the next 10 minutes while he arranged the transaction with the customer care lady up front and I was on my way. My Girl teased me about it the whole rest of the day. We laughed and I assumed it was a fluke. Fast forward to the next time I wore the Magic Shirt. I went to the UPS Store to mail a package to my baby, the missionary (it's his birthday on Friday). It was my last stop for the day and just before heading there I had picked up a massive BBQ grill that we had assembled for Hubby. Because of liability issues they don't tie them in for you at The Wal-Mart. I was very nervous and sure of a tragic parting of the ways for this grill and I. I decided after mailing the package I would look for some bungee cords in Hubby truck (he's always got those....right) to fasten it down a bit. I walk into the UPS Store and was greeted by a very friendly (again) middle aged....he thought I needed to know he had just turned 40....man. He had a raspy, smokers voice and a few tattoos that looked to be from his younger days. He flirted with me openly and I tried very hard not to become uber-weirdo and totally freak him out. He asked if I was going to the concert (some 80's rocker guy...don't remember now) and I told him WE (assuming he would see the ring on my finger and put 2 and 2 together) were new in town and hadn't bought tickets. He asked me if I'd like to go anyway and I very politely (while panicking on the inside) told him WE were busy unpacking. He was still very (overly) nice and we finished the transaction and I went to tackle the behemoth grill waiting to be taken home. I did manage to find one bungee cord and was trying to find a way to use it when UPS guy poked his head up over the side of the truck and offered to get a cord from his truck to help me out. Um...OK...He came back a few seconds later with a length of rope (leaving his store unattended with customers inside) and tied the grill down and then showed me how to untie it when I got home. Not going to lie and tell you that I wasn't getting precariously close to falling off the ledge into weird....but I was able to hold it together long enough to tell him thanks and that would see him next time. GULP! I'm not sure what amazes me the most about this shirt. The fact that these men were helpful (and flirting with me...the troll) or that I was able to not come off sounding like the world's biggest idiot. My face didn't stay a lovely shade of beet red and I was able to skillfully (I use that word loosely) banter with them like I did back in the old days. It could be some of the new found confidence that keeps creeping in ever since my race...or it could just be the shirt. I'm going to wear it next week and see what happens!