Driving Miss Lori

On a good day I am a bundle of raw nerves wrapped in skin. I tend to over-react and become ridiculous at a moments notice. I also have wicked spacial issues. I don't like anyone standing in my space...let alone driving in it. Yesterday I let Jo drive home from Wal-Mart. She technically doesn't have her permit yet...but she does take that test on Tuesday. Drivers Ed. is so different here. Here the kids take a 2 week class (after school for 3 hours a day) and then take a test to receive their permit. Then they drive with their parents for 30 hours (10 of them being at night). During that time they are required to drive with an instructor 4 times during that 30 hours to make sure they are being properly trained. At the end of the 30 hours they take their final driving and written tests and, assuming they have passed, they receive a drivers license. So, as I was saying...I let Jo drive me home on Saturday. I guess the fact that she had never driven in town escaped my memory. All in all she did pretty good. But imagine me...trying so hard not to look or sound nervous....clinging to the seat while giving her instructions. "Ok, Jo, start braking. Good, a little more brake...please brake....oh........OK. That was good. Now turn here and try to get out of the turn lane and on to the other road quickly....quickly....oh.....please.....OK. Good." All the while her phone is buzzing as her friends are texting her. All I can think is that if she takes her hand off the wheel even for a second we are going to die. Luckily she ignored it the whole time. She was concentrating so hard on her driving that she forgot to breathe....hehehe. I asked her if she was OK. She said that she was, but there was just so much to keep track of. Staying in her lane (it is really the first and most important rule when driving with me), keeping track of her speed, dodging the flock of wild turkeys in the road (no joke...there was 7 of them) and braking in time to stop before the cross walks....and breathing....don't forget to breathe. It turned out to be a good learning experience for both of us. I am learning to stay calm with a teenage driver in the car and she is learning to breathe...and keep the car on the road.....while her nervous Mom sits beside her and tries not to grab for the chicken bar.

Since I Can't Say Anything Nice.....

I love Disney movies. The old school gems are full of little nuggets of wisdom. "A dream is a wish your heart makes..." and "whistle while you work" have been comforting to me for many years. I can hear the Wise Old Owl in my head telling me, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." So in that grand tradition I will just say that the student teacher in Jo's gym class better hope my resolve holds. One more crack about his "respect" for her falling "10 points" (whatever the crap that means...) because he found out what religion she practices....well, let's just say....he'd better hope Jim gets to the principal before me. So since I'm not going to say anything not nice.....
Me, "Knock, knock..."
You, "Who's there?"
Me, "Pile up..."
You, "Pile......
And now I am rolling on the floor laughing...so hard.....you said poo........aaaahahahahahaha

For Today

All I have to say today is....peanutbutter M&M's and peanut M&M's. Mix 'em, eat 'em, love 'em. Oh...and Jackie, I miss you.

A River Runs Through It

Minnesota is serious about a few things; hockey, the Vikings, winter and now, spring. Not even 5 days ago the high for the day was was -1. Yesterday the high was 50...above zero. It was so nice. There were people (Jim included) out in their flip flops and shorts digging the ice dams out of their driveways. My winter coat...that until we moved here was used only for riding the 4-wheeler on those frosty 25 degree days...is still slung over a chair. I don't dare put it away.I am sure this is just a cruel joke played by Mother Nature. Surely she can't just flip a switch and spring is here. Or if she can...why did she wait so long? The river running down the road makes me want to round up the neighborhood kids and make boats and race them. The gutters are full the streets are rippling creek beds. Now all we need are the monster size snow hills to vanish and all will be right again. As a kid we had a video of these little sun-worshiping cartoon people. They mined it from a cave or something. They had a very catchy little song and a sun dance. I will tell you...yesterday, while I'm sure no one was watching...I did the dance. I sang the song. I turned my face into the sun and closed my eyes and smiled. And it was good.

Good Practice

I'll be putting my baby boy on a plane by himself for the first time today. He is traveling to see his Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins...oh and his friends...in Idaho. I suppose it is good practice for when he leaves on his mission this summer. I am already having heart palpitations. I looked in the mirror yesterday and almost broke out in tears. I am the Mom of an almost 19 year old. He is becoming a man. Where did my little PePe go? Did you hear me?? I am the Mom of a man? I thought I'd have more time to mother ((aka nag)) him. It went so fast. I wasted so much time worrying about things that don't really matter. Have I given him the tools he will need to become a successful adult...if I didn't give him the tools did I at least tell him where the tools are?? I'm not sure when the panic seeped in. I was fine with him flying away last night. He has been planning this trip for months. He is a big boy...he will be fine...right?? Of course he will. But he's so trusting. What if he gets robbed or beat up or used as a mule. Well, I guess technically he isn't leaving the country. Or really even going through a major airport...but I worry. Obviously. But just look at this face ...and who will I watch Hairspray and Enchanted with? I just don't know if I can handle a week away from him....just kidding....hehehe. I'm not so bad off that a week kills me. I am worried about the flying and locating the right gate and all that, but he is a smart guy and very capable. He is going to have a fabulous time and I am so jealous that part of me hopes he chickens out so I can use his ticket. An intriguing thought....hhhmmmm....oh well. Bon Voyage my little PePe. See you in a week.

A Joke For The Day

Barbra and Stan are a fighting married couple. Stan wakes up in the bottom of a hole in there back yard. He says to his wife, "What are you doing?" an annoyed Barbra answers, "I'm burying you." A bewildered Stan stammers,"But...I'm still alive..." Barbra whispers,"Shhhh, you'll wake the neighbors."

I do hope you're laughing as hard as Jo and I were when she told me this. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I hope this doesn't say too much about the state of my mind right now....

Good News and Bad News

So the good news is the yucky black and gray snow of the last couple of weeks is being covered. The bad news is it's being covered by 6 to 10 inches of NEW SNOW. Sheesh. Not at all what I asked for. More shoveling, more to add to the piles beside my driveway...you can barely see Kev's car...more cold. I think the wind that is here with this storm is almost worse than the snow. More good news...I will still be using the yummy cherry lifesaver scented car wash. Yes way...it is cherry lifesaver scented...and it is yummy. I usually don't use the car wash in the warm months so in the winter I do enjoy going to the car wash. Bad news is ...more winter weather and less beautiful sunshine. Bummer. Good news...Kevin is leaving on a jet plane (did you sing it too?) on Saturday to go to Idaho...my favorite vacation destination. He gets to love on Lacey and Brook and Bridger and especially Cylie. Bad news...it's not me. Oh well...I'll wait my turn. In the mean time, I'll just kick back in the snow and try to be patient. Spring...oh where for art thou, spring?