A Look Inside

On Sunday,I went to the ward in Nebraska that we will be attending. There are a lot of military families there, so they are used to new people. I put on my cutest "going to church" outfit. (I have found that if I am comfortable with what I'm wearing...I feel more confident.) I needed every ounce of confidence I had to walk in there. I'm not sure if you all know this...but I really am painfully shy. At times I can mask it with a joke or pretend that I am confident....but really I am very uncomfortable in new social situations. I have come a long way from where I was when we moved to Rigby (Idaho). I am more approachable and try to make eye contact. That being said...I put my best outfit and my game face on and marched in there feeling like I had my insecurities well hidden. As we walked into the chapel it all looked so familiar. The building is very similar to the one in Fargo....so right off the bat I was a little more at ease. We chose a bench, joking that we were displacing some family that had staked claim to this spot. As the room began to fill with families, I was struck at how many little kids there were. Seriously, wow....There were kids everywhere!!! It was nice in a way....normal even. As people came to us to introduce themselves I began to realize that they were all very friendly and no one was going to point and stare at the freakish new girl (with the stinkin' cute shoes!) A lady and her 4 little kids came to sit behind us. She introduced herself as Lacey (one of my very favorite names) and asked us to excuse her husband who was deployed recently to Katar (yeah...not sure on the spelling....but that is how it sounded) She is 15 week pregnant and happy that he will be home soon as his deployment was only for 5 months this time. sheesh....And I thought I had it rough. She was very excited to hear that we are originally from Idaho as she is an Idaho girl too!! Yep...Grace Idaho, and she knows some of the people (key to Jim's conversion) that we knew in Soda Springs. Small world. She pointed around the room and at a few women and added "She is from Idaho Falls. And Sister so-and-so is from Preston. And there are a few more...but I just can't remember right now." Talk about tender mercies. That might not sound like a big deal to most of you....but to me, it started to feel like home. Lacey went on to say that she and a group of really fun women get together the first Thursday of the month and have a GNO....(and I even knew what she was talking about!) She told me when I get there she will make sure I go with them because they have such a good time. By the time the meeting started I was feeling a little better about things. Later, as we were walking to Sunday School I will admit to feeling a little under-confident again. The ward isn't huge by any means....but there are more than 30 people for sure...and that is what I am used to now. Still, I thought I had my game face still in place and went on like this was no big deal. Met a few more people and didn't fall into "Pod of People" mode so I figured I was doing OK. Every Fast Sunday the Young Women meet with the Relief Society for opening exercises. I was struck by how many YW there were. I asked the lady next to me how many girls were in my sweet daughter's age group. She said there were 10! Ten girls in the 16-18 age group!! WOW!! There had to be about 20-25 girls in all. I was so happy for my girl. There will be girls in her school that she knows from church....built in safety net. After church ended one other lady came up to me. She looked my age....and had a baby that looked about 9 months old (as well as 3 other really cute little kids). She introduced herself and said she was from Preston, Idaho. Her hubby is a pilot and actually went to pilot school with a guy that went to my high school....weird...and COOL!! She seemed really nice. I will say that I did slip into "POP" mode for a second...she didn't seem to flinch too hard...so hopefully she will still want to be my friend. She and I discovered neither of us transitions well and we HATE to move. A kindred spirit...maybe....I will look forward to getting to know her better. When it was all said and done, I felt like I didn't do to bad. Jim tells me that the Bishop commented to him that I looked terrified. Well....crap....I thought I was hiding it so well. I guess the deer-in-the-headlights-look came off as just that. Scared...Oh well. I was. A really nice family invited us over (with the Sister Missionaries) for dinner. They have lots of teenagers (and OOPS...a 2 year old), so their house was full of life. I loved the feeling there. The day ended with me kicking off my shoes back at the hotel....happy. It's going to take a while for me to feel like I fit in....but it will happen....if I give it the chance.