Not a Birthday Post

Yesterday was my baby's birthday. I didn't do a birthday post. I started looking through pictures and it was too much. I bawled my eyes out. It was too much. So I called him and texted him and did an instagram post and sang to him on a snapchat. But going through pictures hurts my heart. So know that I love him and think he is the most amazing man ever. He is more than I ever hoped for.

So onto the real reason for this post. The other guest room. They all started the same...boring.

So I moved in the bed. Good first start. This was Jo's bed years ago. We moved it with us thinking we'd probably end up giving it to Good Will in a couple of weeks but I think it will stay. I used the same bedding as in the guest room in Nebraska.

And I hung the same pictures/frames on the wall. I love this wall. It makes me happy. I love the owls and the colors...and I really love the picture of Kevin and Jo hugging at Kevin's wedding. It squeezes my heart. I put my grandma's cedar chest in here too. She received it as a gift for her high school graduation. When she married my grandpa they used it in their house for storage but when their kids came along they used it to hide the Christmas gifts. My Mom loved this chest for that reason. She kept it in her room when it came to live in her house. I loved it. I would sit on it and look out my mom's window. We would talk about the things she kept in there. She would tell me stories of the people they belonged to, her grandparents, her parents...So when the chest came to live at my house I was thrilled.

See the purple tote? My first dress-up box for my grandkids! I have put all kinds of things in there. I am so excited for tons of grandbabies to come and find the treasures there.

All of the bedrooms in this house have walk-in closets. I am so glad because without a basement we have been lacking storage options. These closets are filled with all our "stuff". Why do we need so much stuff? Ugh. 

So there is another glimpse into my house. I get to fill my house with sisters and nieces and nephews this weekend. I am excited to share it with them. 

The Sentimental Room

This is how all of the rooms looked when we started. Beige and blah. 

But then this happens....The stuff gets unpacked. Things get hung on the wall. More de-junking takes place. 

Old things get found and reused. Some things get donated.  

 And things get prepped for visitors. Not that I am expecting a ton of guests. But a girl likes to be prepared. Did I mention I have THREE guest beds? Not to mention a ton of floor space for those under the age of 22!! Just sayin'...

 For obvious reasons, this is Jim's favorite guest room. He feels at home in here. Our room is woodsy too...but I put more of my stuff in there to balance it out. I have to live in there too you know.

 The things in here have great sentimental value. The yoke was my great-grandfather's.  My Mom made a giant macrame plant holder/room divider thing that hung off it. It was a thing to behold. I saved the yoke....not the rest of it. Kevin's first deer is represented here. My sister's mad art skills are too. Lots of photo albums and scrapbooks representing a million hours of my time are on the bookcase.  

So many old memories...just waiting to make some new ones. I'm sure we will have lovely memories made in this house. It is a good house. 

The First From Utah

This is my first post in a while. Moving is hard. It just is. I have learned a few things along the last 23 years that makes it a little easier for me, but let's face it....change is hard. I'm not really ready to discuss how much I miss this boy. Our everydays together were magical and I tear up just thinking about him. So not many people here know about him.

They haven't heard about my amazing children either. I don't like to cry in front of strangers so they don't know much about my kids.

I haven't told them about Abby or Theresa yet either. How do you tell strangers about people so dear to you that just thinking about them makes happy tears come streaming down. My first day at church I sat next to a gal (on the back row) and I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm crazy. She had her baby (about a year old) on her lap and was feeding her a bottle. This darling little thing grabbed onto my hand without a word and grasped it the entire time. It reminded me of when Michael would hold my hand and I just sat there with huge, hot tears splashing down my face. I'm am great at first impressions. Ugh. 

Well, enough whining about the hard parts. I really am trying to hold it together and most days I seem quite normal. I'll let you in on a secret....I'm all unpacked. The only boxes left have Jim's stuff in them and he gets to deal with it. 
This is the front room of my house, the formal living room if you will...and Nellie. She has been a trooper.

This is what it looked like for the first week we lived here. The boxes were driving me mad!!

So I got rid of them. I think this will be one of my favorite spots. It is sunny and peaceful. The pictures of the people I love are in this room. 

It is probably the most finished room in the house. That is why it is my favorite right now. I can feel calm in here. 

These pillows make me happy. They remind me to make the most of each day. And most importantly to be happy and trust God.

 Trust that He has a plan for me in all of this and trust His timing. It's hard to remember some days. It's hard to not be angry. But I am sorting through it and finding ways to cope. Pillows are good that way!!

 So there is your first glimpse of my life in Utah. I'm sure I will show you some more thrilling pillows and crazy dogs. But for now, know that I am sitting on my couch waiting for my family to call. 

Frozen

So...remember that time that I said I was going to write more...yeah. I do too. And I told you all about our trip to Belize? That was such a fun trip. But what I didn't tell you then was that we had been waiting for a job offer for 2 weeks already. If you know me at all you know that I have zero patience. It is a lesson God is constantly trying to help me learn.  Long story short (and about 15 "You'll have an offer next week"'s) we finally got the offer. But looking back I realize I put some things on hold while we were waiting. My writing being one of them. Michael and I have still had wonderful adventures. We have still enjoyed our Sunday dinners with all the kids. But mostly we have enjoyed the extra time. Which I think was the whole point. According to our Realtor, the housing market is skinny right now. Not enough houses in our price range for sale. The longest our floor plan has sat on the market is a month (and that was in November). The two that have been listed this calendar year have sold in a week or less. So now the weeks and months of  whining (and let's face it...I whine) seem silly. While I have loved living so close to all my kids (and that sweet baby grand) I could have just been more grateful for the extra time. But I get it now...so NO MORE WHINING! Ok...that being said...a few things needed done around the house. Like my craft room!! Mostly it is just a storage room for my supplies and the actual crafting takes place in the kitchen, but it looked like a mini hoarders episode just waiting to happen. I purged and boxed and removed 2 bookcases 2 rolling drawer thingies and the white desk. It looks bigger (the whole point of the purge) and much cleaner. 

As you can see, ready to sell. Now we are just waiting on paperwork to come from the relocation company to the Realtor so she can get us listed and then we will hang on to our hats for the next chapter.

I'm trying to be positive and have a good attitude. There are SO many things that are positive about this  move to the Layton area (most of the houses we like are in Syracuse). It is closer to my family. It is back in the mountains that Jim loves to hike and antler hunt in. My dad already has a hike planned for them!! I won't talk about the missing of the children. If I don't think about it now I might actually be able to do this. But in September K&A and that baby grand are moving to Rexburg. So much closer. I can almost handle that. Jo's plans are still undetermined, but her lease isn't up until January so she has a while to decide. Ultimately I know that this move will be better for us in the long run. But leaving the family I have here and the friends that I have come to love and rely on so much is painful. So there it is. I think I can start writing again. I can start moving forward again. The path is clear. 

One Little Word 2015

January. Again. Where does the time go? Resolutions seem to be on everyone's minds. I never make them (any more). I could never last past March. Years ago I started choosing One Little Word (OLW) to work on cultivating throughout the new year. I blogged about 2011 (LINK) and 2012 (LINK). I have had varied success with each year. The word I chose this year is TRY. Yep. That's it. Really I don't think I chose this word. Seems to be a trend among my friends this year. I'm pretty sure it chose me. I have been hearing this word in my head for a while. Half a year actually. Back in June I blogged about the pioneer trek we went on (LINK). There were 2 songs that I wrote about one is a Primary song about the prophet Jonah. "Jonah was a prophet, tried to run away. But he later learned to listen and obey. If we really try, the Lord won't let us fail. That's what Jonah learned deep down  inside the whale." There is that word...try. I'll let you in on a debate we had with my dad had a few years ago. According to Dad, you can't try to do something. "Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda. Dad took this to heart and was beating us over the head with it. I think they are both wrong (Dad and Yoda). I believe that you try to do something until you give up. You can try to run a race. If you finish, you have succeeded. You you don't, you've given up. But the process is where try comes in. I have tried to lose weight for years. But I have always given up. It's hard. It's not easy to love yourself enough to keep trying. To not give up. But in the process I have learned so much. I have learned a ton about exercise and nutrition. I have learned how much better I feel when I am at least trying to make it to the gym. I learned how important it is to fuel my body with fresh fruits and veggies and lean proteins and whole grains. I have learned that it is hard to stick to goals that haven't been planned out AND WRITTEN DOWN. I have learned it is easier to go to the gym with my friends. So. TRY is my OLW for 2015. I will try to make healthier choices and I will try to let go of anger. I will try to be more organized and I will try to live with more intent. I will try to enjoy my family time more and try to mute my inner critic more often (seriously, you should hear the mouth on her! Shocking!) I hope this time next year I can tell you I have succeeded or that I am still trying. Giving up on myself isn't an option. This time I will TRY.

Belize Days 4&5

 Our last day in Belize was spent relaxing. We lounged by the pool and the ocean all morning. We planned on going into town later but there was no rush to be anywhere today. It was so very nice. 

 "Larry the Pool Guy" gave me a flower as I sat in the sun. Of course I was mocked for taking a selfie. The others had me to be their photographer. Who did I have?? Me, I suppose.

 These caught my eye because I thought they had been spray painted. Nope. They're legit.

 The boys had "Larry the Pool Guy" Cut a couple coconuts open for us. Of course we have to have some fun first.

 These are the soft coconuts. After you drink the coconut water from them there is a thin layer (membrane...blekkkk!!) that you scrape out and eat. It was soft and slightly sweet. The texture was kind of like jello that has been in the fridge too long. Not a huge fan.

 We would get fresh flowers on our bed every day. One of the perks of paradise.

 While cruising around we saw this blue crab out for a stroll on the dock.

 A bit later we cleaned up and went into town. Of course my picture taking skills need some work. I didn't get any of the hustle and bustle of too many golf carts and people on the narrow streets. But I did get one of this portrait that Ilise doesn't remember sitting for. It was a little creepy.

 At about 4:00 we decided to get an early dinner. Not possible. Dinner (at the earliest place we found) is at 5:00. We went to the spot we really wanted to eat, Blue Mango...not serving until 6:00. We went to the second on our list, El Fogon, and had a smoothie (mine was a limeade!!). We decided their menu didn't look super enticing so we went to the third recommendation, Elvi's Kitchen. It smelled wonderful. We were seated and had our order in right at 5:00. The sand floor was interesting. Pretty sure this is where I got all the bug bites!! Not a fan of that for sure!!

 Mexican steak with Mayan seasonings, a baked potato with chipotle butter, okra and all the fixings was my dinner. The flavors were wonderful. I loved all of it!!

 Ilise ordered the Creole (the special of the night). Jim and Robert wished they had ordered this as well. Conk, shrimp, oyster and clam with a crab claw thrown in for good measure. She said it was wonderful. I decided to take her word for it. It was very pretty to look at. After dinner we went back to the resort and swam and sat in the hot tub. We drank pina colada's and talked about how great the trip had been. We had to leave in the morning. None of us was ready.

 My last breakfast at Coco Beach was by far the best. The pineapple and watermelon were sweet and had the best texture. The yogurt and homemade granola were the best I've had. Seriously...I'd have had this every day if I had known!!

 Of course I got zero pictures of us on the way home. We were so chill and relaxed. We didn't start getting tensed up until we were about to board the flight in Huston. Our vacation was over and we were a little sad. It took me a solid week to get back in the swing of things in real life. Of course I missed the kids and especially Michael. Darla had just had surgery to have some tumors removed so there was that to deal with. But I missed the warm breeze and the beautiful sunshine. We will travel with the Walker's again. We always have amazing adventures with them. Thanks for the memories!!

Belize Day 3

Day 3 was going to be our most exciting day. The day we were to fly to the mainland for our excursions. We signed up for a half day hiking at the Mayan Ruins and half a day hiking to the top of a mountain to ride a tube down a river INSIDE A CAVE!! Cave tubing was what we were looking forward to the most of the whole trip. But God had other plans. Because of all the rain the previous few days (and more on the way) the cave tubing was cancelled because of flash flooding. We had three options. We could go to the Xunantunich ruins and come back to San Pedro or we could do the Xunantunich ruins and the Belize City Zoo or we could go to the jungle cruise and Lamanai Ruins but that takes the whole day. We have an amazing zoo here in Omaha so we chose Lamanai.

So a ten minute water taxi to San Pedro for a breakfast sandwich (delicious) and a 20 minute mini plane ride to the main land.  

Where we were shuttled into a van for the hour and a half ride through the country of Belize. Interesting note...there are no speed limits enforced in Belize. There are some posted but none enforced. So the rely on speed bumps and stop signs on their highways to slow cars down every now and then.

After a 90 minute van ride we settle into our boat for the hour and 15 minute ride to the ruin site. And about five minutes into it, it starts to rain. And it's not super warm. But the lily pads are blooming...how pretty.

And the snake cactus is tricking everyone into thinking there are snakes in all the trees. Neat-O

And then the rain stops and the sun comes out. Of course the humidity is super fun at that point but I was just so glad that I was warm I didn't complain. So friends this is Lamanai.We didn't realize what a treat we were in for or we wouldn't have been sad about missing out on the cave tubing. First off we had a delicious lunch prepared by our guide, Captain Ron, and his Mom (a direct descendant of the Mayan people). Rice and beans cooked in coconut milk (I could have eaten this at every meal), chicken thighs (I was hungry so the bones didn't bug me too bad), mashed potatoes (YUM), fried plantains (meh...they were ok), cole slaw (pass) and some various sauces that I didn't  need because everything was so dang good!!

We had a minute to look at the little museum and line up the time lines with the BOM. Then we walked through the jungle to our first stop. The jaguar temple. Thus named for the jaguars on each side. Mayans put their Gods on their temples to make them holy places (but you probably already knew that). But did you know that 99.9% of their gods are animals? Me either. Our guide was well versed in the history and culture of the Mayans. Even letting us know that they weren't even called the Mayans. Nope. That is a word that means "not sure" in the language of the people that "discovered" them. 

Jim asked him if he had heard of the Book of Mormon. Yes!! He had. Not only that, but he does BOM tours!!! WHAT!!! He would take us aside after he had told us (and the rest of our group) the official script and let us ask questions about how the time line here lined up with the BOM lineage. He was so knowledgeable. It was wonderful!!

Lazy monkeys! It's the only way the can survive here though. Not a lot of food available for them. 

The jungle is an amazing place. But the ruins were fantastic. We talked a lot to Ron about his thoughts about the truthfulness of the BOM. He told us that it supports his knowledge of the Mayan history (he has a Masters degree in history) and his testimony of that part is strong. He meets with the missionaries often to discuss his other questions. 

So during our amazing afternoon we kept pinching ourselves to make sure we are awake. The four of us wanted to do a BOM but they only do that for a bigger group. But here we were taking a mini BOM tour through the jungle in Belize!! So blessed!!

I wish I could have made a video to bring home and study with my BOM. I think that would just be the icing on this cake!!

My Mom always grew the most beautiful ferns, but hers never got this big!!

This is the temple we got to climb. It is the highest point in all of Belize. The view from the middle was great but from the top you could see the whole jungle canopy.

Another vacation pose for Jim!

The view from the top!! That is looking back toward the river we came up. Spectacular!!

This is looking toward Guatemala. I wasn't sure where to look to find it from there...but apparently you can see it.

The two people sitting in the shade to the very left are Jim and Ron. Jim was picking his brain for more info. This guy was a treasure!!

This is the view from the middle. We stopped for a minute to get our bearings and look around. Obviously the view was stunning.

Robert liked the top of the temple. It took me a minute to stand up there. It was sturdy and all but man...it was high up. Imminent death if you got too close to the edge!!

Here is the only Mayan temple to have a human face for the deity. The only one. It was built around 500 A.D. I asked Ron if he thought it was a coincidence that the only human face turned up on the temple after Christ had visited the Americas. He said he didn't think it was a coincidence at all. 

I also asked Ron if he loved his job. (If you know Jim you know he HATES his and longs for a job like Ron's. He's sure everyone like that loves their job and that if he had a job like that then he would be happy) Ron said he likes being out in the jungle but HE HATES HIS JOB!! Yup. I almost hugged him. Strange I know. But it made an impact on Jim. This is Ron and I being pelted with rain on the way back to the van. It was cold and stinging our faces. ("Daddy, I do not want a boat like that!" Name the movie)

After we got back to the island we thought we'd want to explore town for a bit and have some dinner. No dice. We were beat. We went back to the resort and ate at the bar (burgers were the bomb) and sat in the hot tub. We rehashed the day and felt so blessed to have had our testimonies strengthened ON VACATION. Not every day you get to do that. I know we were led to Captain Ron and his tour. We wouldn't have had this amazing experience if we had gone cave tubing.