A New Love

Is it a new color of spray paint? No....Is it a new batch of frames from Good Will? No....Is it a new niece or nephew? No....but it is a little girl....and man is she sweet. She is the new girl in the Resource Room where I've been working on and off for the last couple of months. I have to admit to being less than inspired this year. If the paycheck wasn't more than enough to cover the bathroom project I am in the middle of....I would probably not sub this year. I have been kicked, pinched, bitten and sorely bruised. I still love the kids in that room.....but man. My body and spirit were taking a beating. When I was told we would be getting a new girl that was somewhere on the spectrum between Mr. J and Ms. S. I'll admit....I was nervous. Ms. S is very low functioning and Mr. J is a bit higher...but violent. Not knowing what to expect from another Autistic child (not to mention yet another schedule change) left me with a furrowed brow. (I wonder if workman's comp will pay for Botox on the the ever deepening worry lines on my forehead? huh I gotta check into that.....) As I received my newest schedule I was looking it over and noticed that I was primarily working with the new girl. hhhmmmmm A bit nervous. I still had a couple of 45 minute time blocks with Ms. S and a 30 minute time block in the classroom helping a boy with math. But the rest of my day would be an unknown (because I LOVE that...). What would she be like? Wild and thrashing like Ms. S or giggly and risky Mr. J...or would she be something in between? Part of my new schedule was getting Ms. S off the bus. OK...no problem there. While I was doing that I got a glimpse of the new girl. She was petite, with huge brown eyes but the thing I noticed about her the most was how calm she was. She just walked off the bus and went with the para in charge of getting her to class. Cool...at least it wouldn't be a trial just walking down the hall. It gave me some hope. When it was my turn to work with the new girl...Ms. A...the first thing I noticed were the angry, raised scars on the backs of both hands. Bite scars. Ouch. Instead of biting others in her frustration...she bites herself. Poor kid. I can't tell you how badly it hurt my heart to see her tiny hands all puffy with scars. When we started to work, the next thing I noticed was how smart this little imp was. She did immitate some words and she did talk to herself occasionally....but mostly she was just quite. Her huge melted cocolate eyes just took everything in. She actually wanted to learn. What a treat this little angel was to work with. For the first time all day I was relieved and pleased to be able to work with the new girl. Then a new thought formed....what if these were her "company manners"? What if, when she got more comfortable with us, her inner demon would emerge? ish...What if indeed. Well, by lunch I was thanking my lucky stars that she was still the model student. She ate her chips...and would ONLY eat her chips. Note to self...this kid has a stubborn streak a mile long....good to know. She did throw a fit and start to cry when the Special Ed teacher tried to get her to eat more of her lunch. No problem...(for me...) The afternoon went really well. I discovered she liked to play catch with a four-square ball. She would bounce it to me and I would bounce it back...and she could actually catch it! It was so FUN!! She had this HUGE grin on her face the whole time. It was great. Then it was time to go to her mainstream classroom. Not so fabulous....she started to cry at the door. Well....not one to give into others fits (but full expect mine to be indulged) we went in. It was story time. Yeah...Ms. A had other ideas. We sat in the back so I could try to "help" her sit and listen. Yeah...good luck there. She cried and kicked and tried to hit (right...it takes a bigger kid than that to smack me!!)...but I have been working with Mr. J enough to know when to bob and when to weave. At the end of the day I was still so smitten with this little pixie that I was willing to over-look that last 20 minutes of the day. Unfortunately for me...they have hired a para for the open position and my last day is Monday. So my time with the kids that I love is going to be very limited from here on out. It has been a good run. I have learned a lot and I can't wait until they call me back.