We've Moved!
1 year ago
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Control
Have you ever thought you were in control of something, only to find out the control was never really there? As a young mother I would often go to my Mom for advice. She knew what I was going through better than any one else. She too had the illusion of control while my brother and sisters and I were growing up. She would tell me to relax and try to see things from a less controlled view point. I tried and tried to relinquish some control...but to no avail. I honestly thought the control was mine to wield as I wished. Then a very interesting thing happened. My kids grew up, and as they grew a very startling thing happened. My illusion of control was shattered. The one thing I have fought so hard to hold on to is the one thing I have found was never really mine. What disturbs me the most in this self discovery is how much time I have wasted. I have held on to the need to control everything in my sphere of existence for so long that I have missed some of the important impromptu moments in my kids' lives. I was lamenting the loss of my perceived control with my Dad tonight...of course he laughed...but when he could breathe again he told me that all is not lost. There is still time to step back and enjoy the show without having to be the puppet master. So as this leopard tries to change her spots let us all heave a mournful sigh for the loss of my illusion of control.
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7 comments:
Yes, sadly the kids grow up and THEN we look back and learn what we think we should have known all along...just our test, I guess!
Sister Bjiorn sure praised your family today in her talk in Sac. meeting. She sure talked highly of Kevin! You are missed...
Oh, and LOVE the Christmas decor! Looks beautiful! I too love this time of year, but I don't put up the HUGE tree until after Thanksgiving, just so my family can breathe!
Great words of wisdom, thanks for sharing. :)
Some meanings of Control-the ability to direct the course of something/to have power over: rule. Maybe it's a mom thing. We want to make sure our kids are going in the right direction--choosing the right path--making the right choices. But we can't always do that--they have to go off the course once in awhile and learn from their mistakes. Maybe our way isn't always the right way. It's o.k. to get off course and learn how to get back on.
la,la,la.....I'm not listening!!! *fingers in my ears*
I can't hear you!!!
Just kidding. I keep saying it. You were sent here to prepare me for teenage daughters. Thanks for being such a great teacher and example and for being willing to change your spots! How in the world would I have ever known it was possible if I didn't see you do it first?
My hubby likes to remind me that I can only control my own actions and reactions and nothing else. {deep sigh} Why does he have to be so stinkin' smart? Thanks for sharing your insights!
Lori.....I have learned so much about trying to control things....people. And i have too learned that it is a losing battle. i watch so many people try to control others.....and see their losing battle! It is a hard concept to swallow......that truly we can only control ourselves....our feelings our moods our behaviors. We can advize to our hearts content but that is the length of our grasp.....It is truly hard to let go of the idea of control and just let what will be.....be. Good luck....
I'm beginning to think I need to consider you my own personal "Yoda". :) I surely love you and I love reading your blog. I learn SO much...about myself and about life in general.
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