Code Black

What is a Code Black you ask?? Well, a Code Black happens when you are grocery shopping at the Wal-Mart, minding your own business when a nice but stern employee descends on you (and everyone else) in the cereal aisle and informs you that there is life threatening weather outside. If you will just leave your carts there (but please bring your purses....gasp...as if I would leave it there!) and proceed to the back of the store we will wait out the storm together. Pause here to insert the sound of a needle scratching over a record. STORM?!?! What storm. When Kev and I entered the store there were no gray ominous clouds suspended over head. Granted, it wasn't the sunny summer weather I have been hoping for...but still not even close to life threatening. So being the rule keeper that I am I followed the crowd to the back of the store. Not overly comfortable with the situation...but not ready to make a scene and demand they set me free....I wait. It is starting to get really warm in the back of the store. You would never guess how many people are in the Wal-mart on a Thursday afternoon until we are all crammed in the electronic section. And on a side note...is the electronic section the most ideal section for us to be during a thunder storm with golf ball size hail and lightning and tornado producing winds?? hhhmmm All I can picture is the hail coming through the sky lights and the lightning causing all the TV's to spark and then explode and the tornado pulling the roof off and exposing us to the sucking power of the F5 that is surely outside. But maybe that's just me. The longer we stand there the warmer we are getting. My feet are getting sore and I just want to be done...I'm over it. The very nice lady standing quite close to us is giving us updates from her son and hubby who are across town. They do have the big hail...but don't worry her son told her. He is in the beer cooler at his place of employment. He thinks it would be OK to have the storm last all day.....ish...kids!! So without any weather induced drama, the call for ALL cashiers to return to the front of the store is sent out. The rest of us are confused about what that means for us...so we start to return to our carts. We suppose if Wal-Mart deems it safe for the employees to return to their daily schedule we should be safe doing the same. Kev and I finish the shopping and high tail it out of there....in case there is another storm. We were anticipating long lines...nope...every single check-out lane was open. I thought that only happened on the day after Thanksgiving. huh. While walking outside Kev and I notice a disturbing lack of storm damage...anywhere. We then decide it was just a huge prank played on us by those pesky, bored Wal-Mart employees who wanted to punish us for interrupting their game of "how to look busy so you don't have to help anyone". Fast forward to 6:00 last night and I find myself in a similar situation. Only this time I am home listening to the weather station telling me that a tornado producing storm is headed my way. The siren in town went off...but the storm was really far out, so we didn't hurry to the basement. We watched TV for a while and watched the storm tracker on the internet and I was on facebook and all of a sudden....the sky was black and the trees were whipping around and things were crashing outside and my son grabs the video camera and he and Jim head outside....again...please insert needle scratching followed by silence here. Idiots. We didn't hear the sirens....probably because the wind was howling at 79 miles per hour. And where are my protectors, the guys who keep me calm....the idiots are outside. Unbelievable. Oh well. If a tree had fallen on them...I had already decided that I was just going to leave them out there. Ok...maybe not...but then again....it had already been one of those days.