Well, I am having mixed feelings about the end of the Christmas hoopla. I do love the lights and colors...the sights and smells...the music...aaahhhh. But I will admit I am glad to be done with another "first-without Mom milestone". It wasn't the hardest thing I have ever done...but not something I would wish on anyone. WAH...I know. There are people all over the world that have to deal with a whole lot worse every day. But here in my own little world, Christmas without my Mom seemed like a pretty tough pill to swallow. Of course she was here in Spirit. I know she was...I felt her here. I put on a vest that she used to wear, before she got sick, and I put my hand in the pocket and found a bunch of her tissues (Mom never went ANYWHERE without a pocket full of tissues...the soft ones). It was a nice reminder that she is watching over me, but of course, it made me miss her even more. So as I sit, surrounded by the twinkling lights and torn paper I can breathe a sigh of relief and know that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger...and apparently I'm to be cast in the fire a few more times because I am still too weak to be considered a finished project. So as I prepare to be molded and fired and strengthened as steel I pray I can do it with the courage and dignity that my Mom showed in her own life. God Bless
4 comments:
The"firsts" without a loved one are always the hardest. But we do find out how much strength we have and how our faith and family help.
You did make it and I am so proud of you Lori! You are an amazing woman and sad I never had the opportunity to meet your mom.
I still don't see anything wrong with my merit badge theory! Humility? check! Strenth of Character? check! But that refiner's fire is there again and again so that we can become more like HIM. I am so grateful for you and your shining example of faith and courage. You really are amazing and I am thankful to your mom for that! And I see you got a new toy for Christmas;) So much fun, you should tell me all about it!
That is the craziest thing, I found more tissues in mom's jacket that I could have sworn I have allready worn! Love it! Those nice gentle reminders are heaven sent! I love you!
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